All posts tagged: Marriage

thoughtful young woman

Sex? In the Bible? Where?

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So, I’m writing about sex, on the Easter weekend. Seriously, this is a topic that we all need to understand. With people that I know, probably the most destructive fire that we can light is our sexual behavior. I won’t tell the stories, but we all know someone who brought trouble into their life, through this door. About half a century ago, pharmaceutical drugs like antibiotics were developed, and tested. These medications could cure some incurable sexually transmitted diseases. Imagine living in a world where an infection like syphilis could destroy a life, including brain damage and mental illness. Apparently, the famous gangster Al Capone suffered from the severe effects of that disease and died in that state. I had a friend, when I was young, who was born blind. His eyes never could function because his mother had syphilis when he was born, and her disease infected and damaged his eyes, in the birth canal. This was as terrible to see as it sounds. About the same time that antibiotics were developed, medical science …

The 50% divorce rate is a myth, researcher states

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According to one researcher, there is a myth floating around society that 50% of marriages end in divorce. The spinoff from all this is why bother getting married. However, Christian researcher Shaunti Feldhahn states that the commonly believed statement that your marriage only has 50|50 chance of surviving is actually wrong, CBN reports. She stated that this 50|50 percentage is being skewered by people, who divorce, remarry, and divorce again, often multiple times. If you have divorced once, it’s easier to do it again. Once you factor out second and third divorces etc., along with the death of spouses, Fieldhahn states that the divorce rate for people in their first marriage is actually only 25%.

Woman tearing up photo of happy couple, closeup. Concept of divorce

The Problem of Fatherlessness in Society

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I remember about nine years ago reading the horrific story of how a then 15-year-old boy in Britain stabbed his teacher to death in front of his classmates. One ambulance driver who was called to the scene stated that he had never seen anything as brutal as what he had witnessed that day. The story was front-page news across Britain as people were shocked by what took place in that school in Leeds. But as I read this something struck me about how people were saying he had in the past been a model student and described as “amicable, enthusiastic and conscientious”. There was the suggestion that things started to change for the boy when he was diagnosed with diabetes. Maybe that was true. But I wondered if there was more to this story, and it took a bit of research before I found an article, which stated the unnamed boy had come from a divorced home. In years past, husbands and wives would tough it out and stay together for the sake of the …

Britain: By the time they are 14, nearly half of children will not be living with both biological parents

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According to a study by the Marriage Foundation (MF), nearly half the children in Britain will not be living with both biological parents by the time they are 14 years of age, Breitbart reports. MF came to this conclusion after analyzing the living arrangements of firstborn children available through the Millennium Cohort Study. Its research determined that 46% of children were no longer living with both biological parents by the time they reached their fourteenth birthday. However, there was a noticeable difference for those kids with married parents versus those whose parents were living together. In 70% of the cases, the separation was due to the breakdown of couples who were living together and 30% was due to the breakup of married couples. MF also found that for those 14-year-olds who were still living with both biological parents, 84% were in homes where the couple was married and only 16% were in homes where their parents were living together. READ: Death of Family: Half of Children Not Living With Both Parents by 14 By the …

Learning Womenese

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It pays to be bi-lingual. I was born into a family that spoke both German and English. However, I was only taught to speak English. However, as a man, I think and speak Manian. And believe it or not, I also think and speak Womenese, the international language of women. I can think like a woman, if I have to, and I can understand their language and customs enough to get by and have even translated for other men on several occasions. This is not to say that women are better than men or that men are better than women. This is (political incorrectness warning) to say that men and women are different. We look different, we feel different, we think different, and we even talk different. That is how God made us. This difference is a wonderful thing that human pride and the forces of darkness have exploited and turned into conflict. And this is why we need people who at least understand both the conceptual language of women and the literal language of …

English survey reveals marriage is an important key to happiness

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Think money is the answer to all your problems, then think again. According to a survey by England’s Office for National Statistics (ONS), people living in England believe marriage is one of the important keys to happiness. For the past eight years, ONS has conducted a annual survey asking people what makes them happy. They are asked to rank answers to several questions on a scale of one to ten rating their sense of fulfillment, life satisfaction and whether they considered their life worthwhile on a variety of issues. For the past several years, jobs and economic security was one the strongest indicators of happiness and well-being ahead of marriage, but ONS reported a significant change in the past year that showed marriage has now pulled ahead. In the survey conducted between 2017 and 2018, marriage came in second behind a person’s health. According to the survey, married couples are expressing a 9.9% higher life satisfaction over widows and widowers and 8.8% higher satisfaction than those who are separated or divorced. So how did singles …

Credit: Clint Vigil/Flickr/Creative Commons

Marriage is good for heart health, divorce bad

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It’s not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NASV) And shortly after uttering those words, God created Eve as a help mate for Adam and through this we have the first marriage. Men and women were intended to live together and help each other not only in life matters but apparently it also has spin-off health benefits for our hearts. The Daily Mail reports a study by researchers at Keele University in Newcastle-under-Lyme, England and Royal Stoke Hospital cardiology department at Stoke-on-Trent, England concluded that being married brings significant heart health benefits. They came to this conclusion after analyzing data from 34 studies between 1963 and 2015 involving two million people between the ages of 42 and 77. The researchers noted that about 80% of heart disease could be attributed to physical factors such as high-blood pressure, high cholesterol, increased age, bad habits such as smoking and even a person’s sex as men tend to have a higher risk of heart disease. However, there is still that 20% of risk factors that can’t …

Children need married parents to thrive Credit: buck82/Flickr/Creative Commons

Children do better when parents are married versus living together

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A recent study by the Institute for Family Studies found that children raised in a family where parents marry have the best chance of success. The study reported in The Federalist analyzed data from 100 countries. The study found that where there is no marriage commitment — this included situations where both of the child’s biological parents were living together — there was a greater chance the child would face a union transition. This takes place when parents end their relationship and start a new sexual relationship. These types of transition create a major time of instability for children often resulting in emotional and behavioral problems, educational difficulties and even a higher risk of death for the child. The report stated that “[C]ohabitation continues to confer a stability disadvantage on individual children even as cohabitation has become more normative.” The report disputes those who suggest that because of the rise in rates cohabitation it should be looked upon as the new form of marriage. Writing for The Federalist, Holly Scheer said: “Couples who commit to …

Marriage offers protection. Photo: angelo23/Flickr/Creative Commons

Study: Marriage increases cancer survival rates

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A new study published by Fremont’s Cancer Prevention Institute of California and the University of California San Diego School of Medicine may have unlocked why married people have a better chance of surviving cancer. Over the years, several studies have shown that married people have higher survival rates than their non married counter parts when it comes to dealing with this disease. In this particular study, researchers looked at 783,167 patients and determined that unmarried men were 27% more likely to die from cancer than their married counterparts and unmarried women 19% more likely. The group then decided to remove other socio-economic factors such as finances that could potentially affect a person’s ability to survive cancer. In America, it can impact the type of health insurance a person can buy. Once these factors were removed, they discovered that an unmarried man’s chances of dying from cancer was still 22% higher than his married counterpart and for unmarried women it was still 15% higher. The researchers concluded that though other socio-economic factors contributed to a person’s …

Families are the happiest when attending church.

Study: Marriages are the happiest when couples attend church

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A study released by the Institute of Family Studies concluded that marriages are the happiest when both members of a couple attend religious services or if the husband does. In contrast, the least happiest are those where neither person attends or the just the wife does. The study entitled Better together: Religious attendance, gender and relationship was written by W. Bradford Wilcox of University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project and Professor Nicholas Wolfinger from the University of Utah. For their report the two analyzed data from the National Survey of Religion and Family conducted in the US in 2006. After accounting for other factors such as economic well-being and education, they discovered: 78% of couples when both or just the husband attended church considered themselves “very” or “extremely” happy. 67% of couples considered themselves happy when neither attended services. Only 59% of couples said they were happy when just the wife attended religious services. The two stated that the reason they believe religious services are a contributing factor to successful relationships is because they are …

God ordained one man, one wife. Photo: Jose Carlos Castro/Flickr/Creative Commons

Was it Christianity’s insistence on monogamy that led to successful societies?

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In a recent article in the National Post, Barbara Kay discussed a book, Marriage and Civilization, written by William Tucker. In it, Tucker argues that what made certain civilizations more successful than others was their insistence on monogamous marriage — one husband and one wife. He does not suggest that nations pushing monogamous marriage were perfect, but they tended to be more successful than those that practiced polygamy. He attributes Christianity for being the major reason for the acceptance of monogamy. Despite having a secular view, he described Christianity as “the most powerful force for implementing monogamy in Western Civilization.” Tucker states one of the hallmarks of a polygamous society is that it is often in conflict. He says “everywhere polygamy is practiced it creates conflict” which hindered the culture’s development. And there is a very good reason for this because “there is always a shortage of women” in a polygamous society. As a result, men would raid other groups in search of women for marriage. A second thing also happened. Due to the lack of …

Marriage is a balancing act Photo: kylesteed/Flickr

Study: Thankfulness is the key to a successful marriage

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A survey conducted by researchers with the University of Georgia concluded that thankfulness is a key to success in a marriage relationship. They even suggested that thankfulness will actually protect a marriage from divorce. The researchers gathered this information through a telephone survey of 468 married people. They quizzed them in several areas including financial, feelings of gratitude and communication. They discovered that gratitude or thankfulness was the most important indicator of the quality of the marriage, even exceeding good communication. They found that  during times of marital conflicts involving fighting and other forms of negative communication that expressions of thankfulness can counteract these feelings. Speaking on behalf of the group, Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at the university’s Center for Family Research, said: “It goes to show the power of ‘thank you.’ Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other area, gratitude in a relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes.” The researchers found that financial stress in particular can lead to criticism or nagging which can cause the other …

Clara praying with Elizabeth Photo: War Room/Facebook

Faith movie ‘War Room’ beats out blockbusters at the box office

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Entertainment Weekly called it a “sleeper hit” and when a Christian movie catches the secular media’s attention you know its shocking everybody, including Hollywood. Refusing to follow Hollywood’s script of sex and violence, the name of the movie aside, the Kendrick brother’s, Alex and Stephen, latest movie is on a record-setting pace. War Room sold an amazing $11.4 million worth of tickets this past weekend, blasting through the brothers’ belief that $10 million would exceed their wildest expectations. The movie was second only to Straight Outta Compton a profanity laced hip hop movie that grossed $13 million. War Room, with only a PG rating, managed to exceed $11 million without swearing, violence, sex, and a star filled cast and while only showing in 1,100 theaters across the US. Meanwhile, Mission: Impossible — Rogue Nation starring Tom Cruise was in over 3,000 outlets but only earned $8 million that same weekend. The Christian movie is on course to surpass Fireproof, another faith movie the Kendricks’ released in 2008. With sales of $33 million, it was the …

Matthew McConaughey and Camila: Getty Images

Matthew McConaughey: A modern day covenant

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[by Linda Wilson and Barb Smith] There was an intriguing article in The Christian Post last fall about Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend Camila making a covenant with God. McConaughey and Camila Alves, a Brazilian model, had been together since 2006 and they had two children by the time they married in 2012. McConaughey admits that Camila put some pressure on him to get married.  He says he was open to getting married but not because it was expected of him. “We talked about it spiritually” McConaughey explained to GQ magazine,  “We did a lot of reading and talked to a lot of people that had been divorced, a lot of people that had been happily married.  We talked to our pastor.  In the end our understanding was, let’s go make a covenant, with you, me, and God.” Matthew has Christian roots. According to reports the reason you never hear him referred to as “Matt” is because his mother named him after the Gospel writer Matthew in the New Testament. Because of that, she told …

Divorce has a negative impact on children.

Studies reveal the negative impact of divorce on children

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While the Old Testament Law provided for divorce, Jesus was adamant God only allowed it because of the hardness of people’s hearts (Mathew 19:7, 8). In the book of Malachi, the prophet expresses God’s true feelings on divorce: “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the Lord of Hosts. ‘So take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.’” (Malachi 2:16 NASV) This verse not only says God hates divorce, but explains one of its byproducts through the phrase “covers his garment with wrong.” The NASV translated the Hebrew word “chamas” as wrong, but the word actually means violence and by implication wrong. A garment was an idiom used to describe the covering and protection the husband provided the family. Through divorce this covering turned from one of protection to one of violence. We see further evidence of this in the Hebrew word for divorce ‘keritut” or more specifically its root “Karat” which means: “to cut off part of the …

A husband’s love

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[by Earl Blacklock] Leprosy is a chronic bacterial infection which causes disfiguring skin lesions, blindness, and absorption of bones and cartilage. Formally known as Hansen’s disease, leprosy is only mildly communicable. Nevertheless, over a period spanning thousands of years, it has been a disease that has meant fear, rejection, and personal terror. Since its first diagnosis in the United States, thousands of people contracted the disease. Those diagnosed with the disease suffered shame and sorrow. Starting in 1921, public health authorities in the United States sent patients diagnosed with leprosy to the Public Health Service Center in Carville, Louisiana for isolation and treatment. Mail to the outside could only be sent by a staff member, after sterilization.

Marriage success not defined by wedding expense

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[by Dean Smith] A study by two economic professors, Hugo Mialon and Andrew Francis, from Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia discovered there is an inverse relationship between how much was spent on a wedding and the success of the marriage. One would typically think the more you spent on the wedding the longer a marriage would last. In fact, the opposite is the case. According to an article on CNN, they found divorce rates for weddings costing over $20,000 were 1.6 times higher than for weddings ranging between $5,000 and $10,000. Weddings costing less than a $1,000 were also more successful than the average marriage.

Survey shows divorce often doesn’t end well — for children

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[by Dean Smith] There used to be a time, a long time ago, when parents in troubled marriages stayed together for the sake of their children. Sometimes those marriages actually turned around. Other times they struggled through. But those days are long gone. Today divorce is easy. If the billboards in North America are right, you can get a simple divorce for $399 and sometimes they go on sale. But those prices are deceiving because for children, depending on their age, the cost of divorce can sometimes be very expensive. Some end up paying for their parents’ divorce the rest of their lives. Resolution is an English legal organization made up of 6,500 lawyers who specialize in family law. They recently commissioned a survey to find out how divorce affected children. They surveyed 500 kids (aged 14 to 22) in England and Wales asking them pointed questions on the impact of their parents’ divorce.

Over 50% regret their decision to divorce

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According to a survey — conducted in conjunction with the DVD release of a movie called The Love Punch — 54% of people who had divorced said they had second thoughts about their decision. The survey was reported by the Daily Mail. The Love Punch, starring Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson, is a comedy about a divorced couple who are brought back together to try to recover a retirement fund stolen through fraud. During this process, they realize their love for each other had not died. The survey questioned 2,000 UK men and women who had either been either divorced or separated from a long term relationship for over five years.

Are the lies about divorce leading to divorce?

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In her book, The Good News About Marriage, author Shaunti Feldhahn reveals some interesting stats she uncovered about marriage and divorce that counter the perception most marriages are doomed to fail. Feldhahn says this type of information is important because she believes most marriages fail because people are convinced divorce is not only inevitable, but almost expected. She says there is a culture of “futility” about marriage and this causes people to not fight through hard times that invariably come in a marriage.

Marriage helps beat colon cancer

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A study conducted in 2011 showed marriage helps individuals beat colon cancer. Colon Cancer is the fourth most common form of cancer in the U.S. Researchers from Penn State’s College of Medicine and Brigham Young University followed 127,753 patients with colon cancer and discovered a married person had 14% better survival rate. Researchers calculated out any other factors that could contribute to better results such as earlier diagnostic and more aggressive treatment that would lead to better results.

Marriage on the rocks in England

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Marriage is under attack around the world. Here  are a few facts reflecting marriage and divorce trends in England. These stats are probably similar to those found in many developed nations. Did you know more people were married in the UK in 1862 than were married in 2011. 1862 was the first year records were kept of England’s marriage rates. in 1996, there were 1.6 million people between the ages of 45-62 living alone. By 2012, that number had increased to 2.4 million — an 800,000 increase. 

Marriage fights cancer

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According to a study conducted by Harvard University, a person’s chances of surviving cancer increases by 20% simply by being married. The researchers went one step further and stated marriage was more effective than chemotherapy in fighting certain types of cancer —  such as breast and colon cancer. A report of their findings was published in the Journal of Clinical Onoclogy in September 2013. Dr. Ayal Aizer of the Harvard Radiation Oncology Program said “Our data suggests that marriage can have a significant health benefit for patients with cancer, and this was consistent among every cancer we reviewed.”