All posts filed under: Women

A better way?

“Now eagerly desire the greater gifts And yet I will show you the most excellent way.” (1 Corinthians 12:31) Strong’s Greek Dictionary defines “way” in this verse as a road or a journey: A way – (Strong’s Greek 3598 – A way, road, journey, path. Apparently a primary word; a road; by implication, a progress; a mode or means This verse is talking about the specific journey that God has for all of us. The first step is learning to love ourselves because we were created in the image of God and that means we cannot hate or despise ourselves. How can we love others while hating ourselves? This verse also talks about the many gifts God gives His children to serve Him. We serve God best when we embrace our unique gifts and talents that have been given for us to serve this world.  Each one of has a purpose that we can step into and live out our journey through life. This verse has been ringing in my ears these past months because life’s …

Entering the void

If you are like me, you want the comfortableness of certainty in your life. And over these past few months that has been completely shattered, I have said ‘we will get through this’ to myself and others too many times. Often, when we enter a desert time, familiarity is stripped away and uncertainty becomes our ‘new normal’. This season has several names, the unknown, the void or the desert. Yes, we can get through this, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will be better. It may also be different from what you were expecting. If you are counting on certainty, this fleeting hope could ruin your life. There is a risk that comes with living and instead of constantly fighting it, we need to go with it. It’s the tension of the unknown and realizing that nothing is for certain that keeps us alert and alive. This is where God’s grace needs to become our ‘new normal.’  Getting through these times, requires us to recognize the tension that grace holds for us. Grace holds …

How to become a fountain of life in times of trouble

In your mind picture a fountain that you have seen in a park.  This is a picture I am holding in my mind as I walk through these days of uncertainty with riots, fires, rules and legislation changing during this Covi-19 panic.  These things have been weighing on many of us heavily and each day something new gets thrown onto the pile of rubbish. And I find this garbage growing in my mind, and occupying way too much space there. But like a stream that never stops flowing, even though garbage and rocks get thrown into it, if there is enough pressure, the water will find its way over, through, and around the obstacles.  If, there is enough pressure flowing from the source, then the stream is unstoppable. This is how God wants us to function in these days and always.  In John 7:38, Jesus said if we believe in Him that rivers of living water would flow out of us. We are to be the fountain life to everyone around us. The Holy Spirit …

What being easily offended says about you

The writer of Proverbs describes a person, who is not easily offended by what others say about them, as being a person of glory: A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger,And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11) Notice how the writer says that it is a person’s glory to overlook a transgression. In other words, the ability to overlook an offence says a lot about who you are. According to Terri Cole, my favourite on-line therapist, being offended is an ego response to what someone says to you or about you. You cannot control what others say or think about you. What matters is what you think in your heart about you! Being easily offended, means you are allowing others to define who you are. When you get offended by what they say, you are giving their words more importance than what you think about yourself or what God says about you. Cole says an ego-offended state also perpetuates a victim mentality which disempowers you and redirects your focus off …

Dealing with the fear of the unknown

Fear of the unknown can overwhelm us and impact our body, mind and spirit in unhealthy ways as we start obsessively worrying about the future, which some refer to it as “future tripping.” The actual purpose of fear is to signal our brain that there is potential for danger or death telling us to ‘fight, flee or freeze.’ Though there is benefit to it, that changes to negative when we are consumed by prolonged bouts of fear. Psychotherapist Terri Cole, who has worked with women for 20 years, states that we must be aware of the psychological, emotional and physical cost to walking around in a constant, heightened state of fear. She says being on constant alert is not good for you and can even compromise your immune system. Exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed, brain fog and depression are all symptoms that your nervous system is being overloaded by fear. And if this describes you, it may also suggest this pandemic is exposing deeper emotional issues and trauma in your life, that you have been carrying around …

A cocoon is not a tomb: A prophetic word about the Coronavirus

A recent prophetic word by Nate Johnston has encouraged me during these last stages of the COVID lockdown. For a while now, my husband and I have sensed that things may be different for the church and the people of God when we are finally released from this lockdown or maybe  ‘set free’ is a better term to use. Nate Johnston is a prophetic minster from Australia who I have been following for years. Nate’s recent prophetic word “This is not a tomb season, This is a cocoon season” has helped me understand the place many of us are finding ourselves in — spiritually confused, frightened, disorientated and maybe a bit angry.  For many of us, it feels like we have been locked up in a dark place for too long and the glimmer of hope that it may soon be over has many wondering what’s next?  Things may not be the same. We are not the same and how do we prepare for this new stage that has been set before us?  Nate prophesies …

Start walking

One of the problems with vision is that we want instant success. We want it to happen now, but in order for you to produce fruit, there first needs to be pruning.  Pruning can be a long process for some of us, as in 40 years of pruning from when my husband started to write and pursue his passion for Bible teaching and world events.  It wasn’t until my retirement that I began to pursue my dream and desire for women to connect and whenever I gave up and let go of the dream, it always came back stronger than ever.  Maybe God has given you a dream or vision that He has called you to do. Below are a few tips from a sermon delivered by Matt Adams a couple of years ago, that helped me in my journey: “It doesn’t matter how many we lead. It matters where we lead them and how you lead them.” “Learn to lead from your placement, where you are now, without wanting to be a star.” “We …

Can we block our own prayers?

What is your stance these days in light of all that is happening? What are your thoughts? Are they fear based or faith based? Are you standing on solid ground or shaky ground? Do we need to shift our prayers from a place of fear and frustration and step onto more solid ground? The Apostle Peter writes: “Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3) Based on this promise, I have challenged myself to change my position from pleading to God for help to stepping into a posture of thanksgiving and praise. God’s word says that He has already given us everything we need to live a life of abundance. Asking for what we want or need is a good thing, but staying stuck in a place of continual pleading may block us from receiving or even seeing God’s provision and answers to our prayers because of our frustration and …

Keeping Prayer Simple

When I looked at prayer in the past, I thought it meant praying for at least one hour before it counted, and this belief discouraged me from entering into prayer. I believed that it was just too hard to incorporate into my everyday life and as a result prayer was often the last thing I did. Then I started feeling guilty about not praying enough, and this led me to just stop praying altogether because I felt my prayers weren’t good enough or long enough, so why bother. The priests ministering in the temple in the Old Testament had a great spiritual responsibility to offer sacrifices to God for the sins of the people. But they also had other duties. These were called ‘sacred lots’ where the menial duties of priesthood were divided up including such things as kitchen duties, yard work and providing oversight to the Levites. They had other necessary duties that did not include the sacrifices, but were important enough to be called ‘sacred.’ Understanding that the Old Testament priests had menial …

Standing in hope

I watched our dog, Lulu, bounce down the stairs, go to her dish, do her little dance as she looked up at me with hopeful eyes expectantly waiting for her breakfast. She knew that I would not disappoint and I realized as I prepared her dog food that this was the perfect picture of hope! I have been trying to enter into hope as I prayed at different times throughout the day and the night about the Coronavirus. But the events of recent days are pushing against hope. Like many, I was caught up in the concern of those feeling panicked, overwhelmed and because of this, fear held me in its grip as I struggled to pray during this COVID-19 crisis. I had lost my hope. And, in the midst of this an indignation and anger rose up within me and I found myself fighting and pushing back against the injustice and manipulation this pandemic had brought into our lives. And for me, hope was the seal and security I needed to continue stepping forward …

Standing in Faith Against the Storm

Often during the past few weeks, I have felt fear and uncertainty rise up within me. During these times, I made a firm decision not to succumb to fear, and as soon as I did that, something changed and life suddenly felt lighter and brighter in our living room where I was standing. As I stepped forward and envisioned myself on a beach with waves rising and building on the waters before me, I was reminded of Christ’s words, “Peace to you!” Shortly after the Lord’s crucifixion, the disciples had locked themselves in a room for fear of the Jews and the uncertain times they were in. Jesus appeared in their midst saying: “Peace to you! As the Father has sent me, I also send you.’ And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”  John 20:21-22 The Hebrew word for spirit in the Old Testament is ‘ruach’ and it means ‘air in motion.’ The same word is translated ‘breath’ and life’. When talking about the Holy Spirit, Jesus …

Touching heaven, touching earth

Like many these days, I am praying more often than usual and in so many ways God has used this season of ‘panic’ COVID-19 to pull me into prayer more consistently than I have done for many years. Yes, God clearly used this time to ‘work out good,’ and bring out good disciplines in my life.  But there has been a change in how I pray. I am now praying more often, but not as long as I used too. These are not extended periods of prayers. They can be short just two to five minutes or sometimes longer. As well, I have set aside specific times to pray. When the clock strikes 8 am, 12 noon, 4 pm, 8 pm and 12 midnight, these are my designated times to pray. I start first by giving thanks. I often take five slow deep breaths to help clear my mind and slow my thoughts and then I enter into a time of prayer. Sometimes things come up and I miss my time, but I carry on with …

Lack is not the Issue

In these COVID-19 days, images of empty shelves are splashed across all media outlets. Long line-ups of people rushing to the stores to purchase food items and sometimes over-buying non-essentials, resulting in hoarding. While world poverty has been reduced significantly in the new millennium, there is still over a billion people world-wide who live in extreme poverty. Self-survival is not new to our generation and although we’ve never watched a child die from malnutrition, or had to resort to cannibalism to survive, a great majority have experienced a ‘scrapping the bottom ofthe barrel’ time. The Bible is filled with stories of people seeking provision during times of adversity. Jesus recognized this social issue; “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me,” (Matthew 26:11). Panicking during droughts and diseases is mankind’s natural reaction to an adverse situation. But lack of provision is not necessarily the true underlining issue for our reaction. The prophet Elijah is instructed by the LORD to go into Zarephath, a city of Idol worship, where …

Staying on your side of the street

When I talk about  ‘staying on your side of the street,’ I am not referring to social-distancing that we are seeing worldwide with the ‘coronavirus pandemic.’ I am referring to a ‘pandemic’ of my own making, where the actions and opinions of others sends me spiraling into anger, fear, confusion and doubt about my own abilities.  And, even as scientists are working on a vaccine for the present ‘coronavirus’ threat, I am very aware of my need to become immune to my personal pandemic, where I require validation from others to feel good about myself. One of the symptoms of this disease is that I become negative or depressed when someone says something that offends or degrades me. If I allow their words to affect my life then I have the ‘validation virus.’ The ‘validation virus’ occurs when I lack confidence in my myself and find myself deeply affected by what others say. Because I have failed to validate myself as a person of worth created in the image and likeness of God, then others …

Are fear and worry weighing you down?

I was at a seminar several years back, and they wanted to show us how much negative thinking affects us. Each of us were told to hold our arms out from our side and then have someone try to push our arm down while we resisted. Most of us put up a good fight, but then we were told to have that person push down our arms while were thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. It could be anything from rehearsing past failures to thinking about how stupid we were. We all immediately noticed how much physically weaker we were when we thought negatively about ourselves. And, although our thoughts don’t hold an actual physical weight, scientists say that negative thoughts ‘weigh’ on your brain in the same way that repeated movements tire your muscles. Negativity and worry have ‘energy costs’ that can tire out our neurons, that are the physical carriers of our thoughts. As a result, we feel a ‘heaviness’ because of the emotional drain on our brain and its neurons. Negative thinking and …

How to plant the right seeds in your mind

“ As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 According to this powerful verse in Proverbs, the thoughts we think determine what kind of life we live. In every moment of life, your thoughts impact you for good or bad. And as we journey through life we will have many opportunities to change our way of thinking. The story of Gideon shows us the importance of right-thinking. He was living at a difficult time when the Midianites were invading Israel during harvest time and stealing their crops after the Israelis had spent hours harvesting them. We find Gideon hiding in the wine press threshing his grain. He was hoping the Midianites would not look there because grain and wine were harvested at different times. Then an angel showed up to talk with Gideon, and two words immediately stick out. The angel called Gideon a “mighty warrior” (Judges 6:12). Now it was obvious that Gideon did not think himself a mighty warrior because he was hiding from the Midianites. But those two …

What is your reflection?

When I reflect upon the verse in the Bible that says God will draw all men to Himself, I ask how could people be drawn to God through me? What would draw them to Christ and His love and the gift of salvation and eternal life? The Pulpit Commentary says, when Jesus said God will draw men, (John 6:44), the Lord was talking about God’s work of grace that prepares the hearts of men to come to Christ, and people will see that work of grace on display in the believer’s life — you and me. People will be drawn to us by the power of the resurrection of Christ in us by the Holy Spirit. The word draw means to: Draw (def) -pull or drag to make it fall behind; to cause to move in a particular direction by or as if by a pulling force, to bring to tack to pull out of  Attract – like a magnet to iron, TO DRAW BY APPEAL. To pull or draw toward oneself In other words, …

Obeying the ‘do not enter’ signs

I was talking with a friend at a Christmas party last year, and we both recognized our need for healthy boundaries and wished we had understood this principle sooner as we could have avoided some unpleasant experiences. Healthy boundaries are vital because they help keep us on track with the important things in our lives. We both agreed at times, we had given more attention to the needs of others than we did to our families and personal needs. And out of my friend’s mouth came the final answer that I needed to secure everything I had been learning about boundaries.  She said maybe this is what ‘entering the narrow gate’ means because the Bible talks about how easy it is to take the broad path and how hard or difficult it is to take the narrow path: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it.” Matthew 7: 12 -13 I sincerely believe the path to life is choosing …

Turning over the tables in your heart

“You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 The Bible tells us that the truth will set us free and for some a radical transformation can take place, as they are instantaneously delivered from addictions and unhealthy lifestyles upon putting their faith in Christ. Then there is the rest of us, who for whatever reason, don’t see a similar thing happening. Sometimes this is because we haven’t fully faced up to the truth about ourselves. This verse suggests there may be unpleasant things that we need to find out about ourselves before we can change. Over the past five years, I have developed a checklist made up of three questions that I ask myself every so often to expose the truth: Am I playing the victim card? Am I blaming someone else for my failure? Do I need to forgive someone? Why do I ask myself these three questions? The reason is that I am the only one ultimately responsible for my well-being. I can’t change what other people …

Time to quit reliving the past

The start of a New Year is usually a time we look ahead at things we want to achieve. This year is particularly significant because it is also the start of a new decade. But studies show that 92% of us fail to achieve our New Year’s resolutions, and I believe it is because we are going about it all wrong. In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul talks about an important key to achieving future goals in life: “I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13 First understand it is a process. Success won’t happen immediately. Paul was considered by many to be the greatest apostle of the early church, yet despite all he achieved, Paul said that he hadn’t fully attained everything God had for him. We are on a journey. There will be good days and …

Embrace your journey

Sadly, for many years I believed that my purpose was tied into some far off destination that was going to drop into my lap someday. And, I stumbled over my wondering and worrying about what my purpose was and what my goals should be to help me accomplish whatever my purpose was. Even though I was married, had a family and worked part-time, I somehow excluded all this from being part of my purpose in life. Therefore discovering my purpose in life was on hold. It had to be on hold because I did not have the time nor energy to pursue anything else.  My hands were quite full. Then I made the fatal mistake of comparing myself to other women, who worked, had families and were in leadership roles in their community and accomplishing great things while successfully raising their kids and supporting their husbands. As former US President Teddy Roosevelt once quipped,  “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparing myself to these women caused me to stumble over what was right in front …

It’s up to you, not them

Christmas is often the time of year when unhealthy feelings towards others are exposed and maybe it’s the pressure of the season that makes these ‘triggers’ more volatile. Lately I have been developing clear principles to follow when ‘I am offended.’ How to forgive and keeping myself in the mindset of ‘forgiveness’ often eludes me.  For me, it has to be simple, as my mind grasps concepts best when they are easy to remember.  First, I needed to get a grip on my ‘trigger’ moments when I find myself suddenly engulfed in waves of emotions that carry me to places where I don’t want to go. Fundamentally, forgiving is a choice we make to step forward and away from the feelings that hold us hostage to the unhealthy energies of anger, bitterness, resentment and offense.  One key principle that has helped me immensely this past week has been allowing myself to feel the emotions and acknowledge each one as they roll around in my life. It doesn’t do us any good to stifle what we …

The ‘Act’ of Forgiveness

How do we forgive? I seem to have forgotten because this past week I was triggered twice and found myself engulfed by emotions that had not been there 30 seconds before the incidents.  And, I struggled by first reacting and then instinctively trying to push the thoughts out of my mind. I knew I needed to forgive and wanted to forgive but the angry thoughts swirled in my mind and the more I tried to get rid of them, the more they kept resurfacing. It was out of control, and I was not handling things well as I spouted off to my husband how I felt. I thought I knew better and also believed I could handle these unexpected triggers. But obviously, I was wrong. I immediately recognized that my emotions had a hold on me and were pulling me into an unhealthy state of mind. I asked myself, who was in charge at this moment? Well, it obviously wasn’t me. The Bible talks about our need to forgive, because our Heavenly Father knows that …

The difference between giving and pleasing

Recently, a group of women met in my home for a time of fellowship and  the topic of our conversation was about the difference between giving and pleasing. I started out by asking this question: Is there a difference between giving and pleasing? Some thought there was a difference, while others looked puzzled. In my life, I did not understand that there was a difference between the two, because they both look the same on the outside. But there is big difference as they each come from a different motivation of the heart and knowing the difference will help us put in place the proper boundaries that we need to stay on track with our priorities and what is really important to us.  I remember years ago, when my kids were still in high school, receiving a vision or mental picture of my life. I was holding a basket of flowers in my hand as I was walking on a beach covered in small to medium-sized stones.  As I walked down this beach I was …

Getting a grip on our value to God

For years, I have struggled with this verse in the Bible: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.’” Matthew 16:24 I interpreted this verse to mean that if you saw someone in need, you were to drop what you were doing and take care of their needs first, even if there was something important you were doing. In other words, that other person’s need was more important than my needs, or the needs of my family. I thought living this way would make me a happier and more joyful person because back in my day JOY meant — Jesus, Others and You — in that order!  But years of functioning this way did not produce joy in my life and in fact it became ugly. Between working my part-time job that included shift work, caring for my family and serious health issues, I continued to step over my needs, and the needs of my family, to encourage and help …

The struggle to shine

For years, I struggled with an unbalanced view of the Christian faith. In the Gospels, Jesus promised that when we took on His yoke, it would be easy and light: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest . . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:29 – 30 There are many things that can make a yoke a burden such as too much weight. Sometimes it becomes lopsided and the burden is distributed unevenly and it starts to wear on one side causing painful, chafing sores. I think many of us have an imbalanced view of the Gospel and because of that we have turned Jesus’ light yoke into a burden. The message of the Gospel is that we are all sinners and that Christ came to take the punishment for our sin. This is an incredible message of hope. But as important as this message is, if we only focus on this one aspect, it can cause an imbalance. …

Your secrets hold you back

Our secrets keep us in the dark and hold us back from truly being who God wants us to be. We can’t truly shine in the world when our secrets repeatedly drag us down and even restrict us from moving forward in our lives.  The shame and guilt wrapped around these secrets keep us in hiding. Sure, we can wiggle around a bit and shuffle forward, but then end up taking two steps backwards because the power of an untold secret or sin keeps us glued to one spot. This is why the Bible talks about confessing our sins to one another. Because what holds us back is the fear that others will find out and Satan uses that to keep us hiding in the dark: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. “ James 5:16 NLT This verse says that even though we have confessed our sin to God, it is in our best interests to tell at least one person our secret sin …

Balancing out the message of the Gospel in your life

For so long I misunderstood the message of salvation and sharing it with another person has been difficult for me. I struggle with the right words to say even though I know them by heart, because I had things twisted and turned around in my mind.  The message of the gospel hadn’t balanced itself out in my life. I was putting too much weight on one truth and not enough weight on another equally important truth. Once I balanced it all out, it started making sense to me. I have been a Christian for many years and I know that God loves me and that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross closed the gap between God and me.  But my life was riddled with insignificance and I fell short of loving, giving and caring for others the way I wanted too. I tripped over jealousy, comparing myself to others and a selfishness that tied me to the fear of not being good enough and the ensuing rejection that was guaranteed after my attempts to be included. …

My biggest struggle

My greatest struggle over the years has been never feeling quite ‘good enough’ for anything, sports, art classes or trying out for the school musical. I suspect there are a few faces that cross your mind when I talk about women we have compared ourselves to over the years. Even as I talk about this subject, names and images of girls I compared my self over the years are popping up in my mind. I was never good enough to be included in the popular circle of girls who had it all together.  Where their looks landed a leading role in every musical, made every basketball team, and also attracted the most popular girls and guys to their social circles. My main nemesis was Susie who had different names over the years, but she was always there and I always compared myself to her no matter how often her face changed. Picture yourself caught in a mousetrap, and you are that mouse struggling to get out of the trap. This image gives us a clear …

What is the strongest thought you have about yourself?

What is the strongest thought that you have of yourself and what thoughts are rolling around in the back of your mind supporting it? Over the past years the strongest thoughts and opinions that I had of myself was that I couldn’t do anything and I had all sorts of excuses: There was the comparison trap. Susie was better at this than me. In fact, almost everyone was more capable and gifted than me and comparing myself to them just made things worse. I don’t have everything together in my life right now to tackle this. I thought I needed to be perfect, before I could accomplish anything. There has been too much struggle and rejection. If others don’t think I have what it takes, then who am I to think I can. I keep trying, but people keep getting in my way. I can’t do this anymore.  In my mind I was never enough or up for the challenge. Comparing myself to others and being directed by other’s rejection is what defined me.    Everything …

Where are your thoughts taking you?

My greatest struggle over the years has been that deep-rooted feeling that I was ‘not good enough.’ Feeling and believing this way led me to some very unhealthy places. I became lethargic and allowed circumstances to roll over me because I believed I was a door mat. People were always going to wipe their feet on me, because that’s who I was. Because I was thinking I wasn’t good enough, it brought along feelings that I can’t do this. I have failed before, so I will probably fail again. The mind is the battlefield, and your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts. You become who you think you are. The Bible says that as a man thinks so is he (Proverbs 23:7). In other words, our thinking becomes our reality. If you believe you are a victim, always blaming outside circumstances, you will stay a victim. Yet the power to change is inside you, but if you believe it isn’t, then you are trapped. When your mind is consumed by …

Tearing down the hostile walls

At times, my soft spot for a particular person shows up when I should be offended, as they unexpectedly direct their anger at me. Because I am starting to realize that behind the angry words is a hurting, wounded person. And through this, I am learning to find my soft spot that overlooks and pushes through their angry energy that pops up out of nowhere directed at me or more often past me, when they’re actually angry at someone else, but I was in the way.   I am learning not to take it personally, because it is not me they are furious at. And, as I peek around my shield I try to reveal my heart for them and be sensitive to what might be the root cause of their anger, that often they can’t explain. This happened to me recently. And in this situation involving a young woman, I turned and faced her trying to understand the reason for her pain. I pushed back the offense and judgement that was rising up in me and …

Denying yourself doesn’t mean depriving yourself

It began in a very difficult season of my life several years back. My physical health was deteriorating and my emotional and mental well-being was in a dark, downward spiral.  Tough circumstances at work and hurtful accusations that sent me reeling kept me emotionally drained and teetering on despair. How could this be happening to me?  It was the worst of times but ended up being the best because out of those dark, depressing days came some extraordinary changes in my life. While people were beating me down, God started the process of changing the way I thought of myself as these difficulties revealed the fragile, wavering opinion I had of myself.  I believed that I wasn’t good at anything. The gift in these painful circumstances was my desperation and after saying no to several opportunities to get help during that difficult period, I finally said yes and took a course that woke me up. At this course, I heard things like you need to love and value yourself. People were telling me that the …

The journey from your earthly father to your Heavenly Father

Recently, I had an appointment with a young lady. Halfway through, my daughter arrived bringing me a coffee and joined us for the last half of the appointment. I love this young gal, and she obviously felt the freedom to express her thoughts on various world views. But the conversation was starting to become intense. Something had triggered her and I wasn’t able to figure out what it was or why. In the middle of this, she abruptly stopped and said, “I would give anything to have the relationship you and your daughter have.” Then she started to talk about her own father and it was then I realized she was talking about the relationship my daughter had with her dad. My daughter joked about her dad and how he likes to tease her. My daughter loves her dad, and they have a good relationship. I had found the trigger and the explanation why the conversation had become so intense. I looked at her and asked what the relationship with her father was like. She …

Study suggests that women who bottle up anger have a higher risk of a stroke

According to researchers from the University of Pittsburgh, feeling resentful or bottling up your anger may result in an increased risk of stroke for women. Strokes occur when plaque build up in arteries results in a reduction of blood flow to the brain as the arteries narrow. An additional contributor is Atherosclerosis that occurs when chunks of plaque break away increasing the potential of a blockage. According to the Daily Mail, that reported on the study, strokes are the third highest cause of death in America and fourth highest in England Women are also more vulnerable to strokes than men and struggle with recovery when strokes do occur. In their study, the researchers analyzed 304 non-smoking women between the ages of 40 and 60. They asked them a series of questions that included if they tended to put other people’s needs first over their own and if they were likely to express their true feelings about a situation. The researchers then did ultra sounds on the women’s arteries and discovered that women who did not …