Common denominator of mass shooters, missing dads
In his book, “The Boy Crisis,” author Warren Farrell noticed a common denominator among mass shooters. He said that most did not have a father figure in the home.
All posts filed under: Family
John Piper responds to Ben’s porn addiction
In a recent article, Pastor John Piper responded to Ben, a young man struggling to break his addiction to porn. Porn is only a click away and the young man, Ben, had started watching it when he was just 10 years old. Ben has been struggling with it since then with some victories and wondered if it would affect his upcoming marriage.
Britain wants to recruit children to spy on parents
According to a recent report in the British newspaper, The Telegraph, the British government of Boris Johnson wants to give state agencies the authority to recruit 16 and 17-year-old children to spy on their parents. If passed, the children will even be allowed to break the law when doing so.
Video: Denzel Washington tells the truth about race
Conservative commentator Larry Elder reports on Denzel Washington’s perspective on how we can fix our modern culture and race relations. Denzel says it starts with fathers.
Child temper tantrums lead to financial problems later in life, study
A study that followed 1,000 New Zealanders until they reached the age of 45 discovered that those who regularly threw temper-tantrums as a child tended to have financial difficulties later in life. The researchers believed this was because they had not learned self-control early as a child.
Divorce more mentally stressful than previously thought
A study by Danish researchers concluded that divorce may have a worse negative impact on a person’s mental well-being than previously thought. Denmark allows divorce within five days of application allowing researchers to focus on the immediate consequence of divorce, not muddied by a prolonged separation.
Oregon Gov. calls for Thanksgiving snitches
With the American thanksgiving a few days away, the Democrat Governor of Oregon, Kate Brown, is calling on citizens to snitch on their friends, family, neighbours and enemies if they are violating the state’s COVID-1984 restrictions that limit household gathering to a maximum of six people.
Divorces up because of lockdowns?
It has becoming clear that there has been a social cost to the lockdowns. It is a bit anecdotal, but one Toronto-based law firm says the number of people seeking divorce is up 20%, and they believe it is related to COVID and the lockdown. With the province of Ontario entering its second lockdown, the firm is seeing a spike of new cases.
Learning Womenese
It pays to be bi-lingual. I was born into a family that spoke both German and English. However, I was only taught to speak English. However, as a man, I think and speak Manian. And believe it or not, I also think and speak Womenese, the international language of women. I can think like a woman, if I have to, and I can understand their language and customs enough to get by and have even translated for other men on several occasions. This is not to say that women are better than men or that men are better than women. This is (political incorrectness warning) to say that men and women are different. We look different, we feel different, we think different, and we even talk different. That is how God made us. This difference is a wonderful thing that human pride and the forces of darkness have exploited and turned into conflict. And this is why we need people who at least understand both the conceptual language of women and the literal language of …
Magic Johnson leaves LA Lakers to join Pentecostal church in ministering to African men
Magic Johnson, 60, is considered among the great basketball players in the world. He played professionally with the NBA’s Los Angeles Lakers from 1979 to 1991 and in 1996. In March 2019, Magic announced that he would be stepping down as President of Basketball Operations for the Lakers and becoming involved with the ministry of West Angeles Church of God in Christ (COGIC) a Pentecostal church in Los Angeles. In announcing this decision, COGIC’s senior pastor, Bishop Charles Blake, said that the two would be starting an initiative to help African American men lead successful lives. Part of this includes starting a center that will work with boys and families in the inner city. I was struck by this announcement, because I believe this is the heart of God. In Malachi, God says that He wants to restore the hearts of the father to their children and the hearts of their children to their fathers (Malachi 4:6). Children need fathers and I believe fatherless families is becoming an epidemic plaguing modern society. Larry Elder is …
Study suggests divorce increases the risk of dementia
I find it difficult to write on divorce, because there can be legitimate reasons for a marriage breakdown and sometimes a person has no choice because one partner wants out of the marriage. But we are living in a society where marriage is increasingly devalued and looked upon as being as disposable as a paper cup. But the Bible states that God hates divorce and warns of it being a violent act as it involves separating two people who in Biblical terms were one flesh (Mark 10:8). “For the Lord God of Israel saysThat He hates divorce,For it covers one’s garment with violence,”Says the Lord of hosts.“Therefore take heed to your spirit,That you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:16 NKJV And this cutting apart has the potential to harm all involved including children (here, here and here) and the couple divorcing. Aside from the negative emotional and economic consequences of divorce, studies also reveal divorce can physically impact the health of the people involved. And this was the conclusion of yet another study that provided …
English survey reveals marriage is an important key to happiness
Think money is the answer to all your problems, then think again. According to a survey by England’s Office for National Statistics (ONS), people living in England believe marriage is one of the important keys to happiness. For the past eight years, ONS has conducted a annual survey asking people what makes them happy. They are asked to rank answers to several questions on a scale of one to ten rating their sense of fulfillment, life satisfaction and whether they considered their life worthwhile on a variety of issues. For the past several years, jobs and economic security was one the strongest indicators of happiness and well-being ahead of marriage, but ONS reported a significant change in the past year that showed marriage has now pulled ahead. In the survey conducted between 2017 and 2018, marriage came in second behind a person’s health. According to the survey, married couples are expressing a 9.9% higher life satisfaction over widows and widowers and 8.8% higher satisfaction than those who are separated or divorced. So how did singles …
New research concludes divorce rates are much lower than commonly believed
Marriage can be tough at times and most of us just presumed that the stats being thrown around that half of marriages end in divorce is basically true. Some have even suggested the divorce rate is the same in the church. Yet in my sphere, both secular and religious, there were divorces but it was nowhere near half even among those who don’t consider themselves Christian. Now recent research by Shaunti Feldhahn has come to the same conclusion. After studying the contradictory realm of research on divorce, in here book entitled The Good News About Marriage, Feldhahn concluded the actual divorce rate is closer to 20% to 25% for first time marriages. (Note the divorce rates for those who have divorced and remarried is higher, which skewers the results but still does not push the overall average to 50%.) She did extensive research for her book and actually interviewed academics and researchers who were releasing often contradictory data. She re-examined their statistics, often with their help. For example, when she looked at the 2009 US …
Major study says divorce has a negative impact on children, particularly boys
ESPAÑOL: Mayor estudio dice que el divorcio tiene un impacto negativo en los hijos, en especial los niños According to an article in the Daily Mail, a major study conducted by University College London’s Institute of Education (UCL) has concluded that divorce can have a major negative impact on children. This research confirms many earlier studies that have revealed that divorce has the potential to harm children. Studies have shown that divorce leads to higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse among children, increased difficulties at school, greater chance of emotional and mental problems, increased difficulties with the law, higher rates of poverty and difficulties holding down a job and these problems followed the children when they became adults. Related: 1) Study reveals a major reason for child poverty: Divorce, 2) Studies reveal the negative impact of divorce on children, 3) Impact of divorce on teens, 4) The impact of divorce on adult children, 5) The long-term effects of divorce on children The study conducted by UCL was quite extensive as it looked at the impact of divorce on …
Report: 40% of children born outside of marriage in the US
According to a report recently released by the United Nations Population Fund (UNPF), 4o% of child births in America are outside of marriage. Though this involves a significant number of single parents, according to this study the largest percentage involved couples who have chosen to live together versus getting married. However, data released by Pew Research in 2017, stated that the majority of unwed births (53%) involved single parents and the remaining 47% involved those living in a common law relationship. Though it reported that single parents were the majority, it also revealed the increasing trend of people choosing to live common law and having children because in 1968, 90% of unwed births were in single-parent families and only 10% involved couples living together. This falls in line with the growing number of people choosing to live together, which according to the US Census has increased from 14 million in 2007 to 18 million in 2016, with nearly half involving people under the age of 35. The number of people living common law has increased …
Harvard Study: Church attendance as a child has positive influence on a person in their 20s
According to a study at Harvard University, children who attended church at least once a week while they were growing up reported having better lives in their 20s than those who didn’t. The study conducted by researchers from Harvard’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health sampled data provided in the Growing Up Today Study that was part of the Nurses’ Health Study II. This study followed children in their early teens for upwards of 14 years. The sampling sizes were not insignificant and ranged in size between 5,700 and 7,500 people. The researchers were trying to find out if “religious involvement” as a child that included church attendance, prayer and meditation had any impact on a person’s physical, emotional and mental well-being later in life. The results published in the American Journal of Epidemiology showed the positive influences that faith has on children, years later. Compared to those who didn’t, the study found that children who attended church at least once a week reported in their 20s as being: 18% happier; 30% more likely to …
Marriage is good for heart health, divorce bad
It’s not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NASV) And shortly after uttering those words, God created Eve as a help mate for Adam and through this we have the first marriage. Men and women were intended to live together and help each other not only in life matters but apparently it also has spin-off health benefits for our hearts. The Daily Mail reports a study by researchers at Keele University in Newcastle-under-Lyme, England and Royal Stoke Hospital cardiology department at Stoke-on-Trent, England concluded that being married brings significant heart health benefits. They came to this conclusion after analyzing data from 34 studies between 1963 and 2015 involving two million people between the ages of 42 and 77. The researchers noted that about 80% of heart disease could be attributed to physical factors such as high-blood pressure, high cholesterol, increased age, bad habits such as smoking and even a person’s sex as men tend to have a higher risk of heart disease. However, there is still that 20% of risk factors that can’t …
Is Katy Perry’s heart softening towards God?
American pop star Katy Perry posted an interesting Christian message to her 69 million Instagram followers on Easter Sunday. She also works as a judge on the new American Idol show. She not only highlighted her Jesus tattoo, that she has had for years, with special lighting, Katy also added the words: “My brokenness + God’s Divinity = My wholeness.” As some may know, Katy has a Christian background. Her parents, Maurice and Mary (née Perry) Hudson, are Pentecostal pastors. Katy’s birth name was Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson. As a girl, she even spoke in tongues after being filled with the Holy Spirit and with her natural singing ability Katy sang gospel in church. She hoped to move full-time into gospel music but that ultimately transformed into secular. Below is a Gospel song that Katy Perry (then Katy Hudson), sang on the Christian broadcast network, TBN, in 2002: The relationship with her parents has been strained as she rejected her parent’s faith. In 2008, she wrote a song, I Kissed a Girl, that topped the pop chart …
What impact will skyrocketing unwed pregnancies have on society?
A report written for the US Senate, entitled Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage, states that 40% of births in America today are born out-of-wedlock. This means that a significant percentage of kids are now being raised in single-parent families and in most instances it means they are without a father. According to the report, at one point in American history, couples understood the responsibility of raising children. Stats showed that in the 1960s, 43% of couples married if the woman became pregnant. Today, only 9% are willing to do this. Some of this is due to the unwillingness of men to take responsibility for what has happened, and the other is women thinking it is fine to raise a child alone. You add to this percentage the number of children also living in single-parent homes due to divorce or separation and we must ask ourselves what kind of effect is this having on society. There have been a number of studies over the years that have looked at the impact that single-parent families (either …
The real problem in the black community: We’ve allowed women to “marry the government”
Actor Denzel Washington stepped on a few toes recently when he said that black people need to quit blaming the system for the high rates of incarceration among black men. He made the statement at the première of his most recent movie, “Roman J. Israel, Esq,” where he plays a young lawyer fighting the system. Denzel said: “It starts at the home. It starts at home. It starts with how you raise your children. If a young man doesn’t have a father figure, he’ll go find a father figure. So you know I can’t blame the system. It’s unfortunate, that we make it such easy work for them.” In an earlier interview with Reuters, Denzel, who grew up in a Christian home with a father who was a pastor, said that people are not “born a criminal.” He had friends who started going down a certain path at ages 13 or 14 and while he stopped, his friends continued and today many are in prison. It was the same message being shared by another Black …
Study reveals a major reason for child poverty: Divorce
An article in the National Post came to the stunning conclusion that one of the big reasons for child poverty in Canada is not capitalism run amuck or the one percent hording all the money, the real reason is divorce. In his article Surprise! Child poverty in Canada comes from divorce, not capitalism, William Watson dived into the finances of Canadian families provided by Statistics Canada, a government-run organization. According to the Statistics Canada, there are 1.2 million kids living in poverty. They define poverty as children living in families that earn less than half of Canada’s median income which for a mixed-sex couple is $87,688. Statistics Canada showed in 2015, the number of children under the age of five living in poverty was 17.8%. For children between the ages of six to 15, 17% were living in poverty. But as you delve further into the statistics another disturbing trend begins to emerge. Single families are by far the biggest group where children live in poverty. Of course, not all single parent families are the …
Cuts to sex education classes in England results in fewer teen pregnancies
A recent study has stunned the liberal world of sex education. When England announced it would cut funding to its sex education classes in 2010, activists and Liberals alike warned there would be a dramatic rise in unwanted pregnancies as a result. However a recent study conducted by researchers David Paton (Nottingham University Business School) and Liam Wright (School of Health and Related Research, University of Sheffield) said the exact opposite happened. Teen pregnancies actually dropped after the cuts. In their study reported in the Journal of Health Economics, the two researchers looked at the statistics of 149 municipalities between 2009 and 2014. They discovered during this period where there were cuts to sex education that overall teen pregnancies dropped 42.6% and are now down to levels last seen in 1969. Ironically, they also noted the biggest decreases took place in municipalities with the highest cuts. The two stated in their report: “Contrary to predictions made at the time of the cuts, panel data estimates show that expenditure cuts are associated with a small reductions …
Children do better when parents are married versus living together
A recent study by the Institute for Family Studies found that children raised in a family where parents marry have the best chance of success. The study reported in The Federalist analyzed data from 100 countries. The study found that where there is no marriage commitment — this included situations where both of the child’s biological parents were living together — there was a greater chance the child would face a union transition. This takes place when parents end their relationship and start a new sexual relationship. These types of transition create a major time of instability for children often resulting in emotional and behavioral problems, educational difficulties and even a higher risk of death for the child. The report stated that “[C]ohabitation continues to confer a stability disadvantage on individual children even as cohabitation has become more normative.” The report disputes those who suggest that because of the rise in rates cohabitation it should be looked upon as the new form of marriage. Writing for The Federalist, Holly Scheer said: “Couples who commit to …
Does divorce impact a child’s spirituality?
One of God’s clearest denunciations of divorce is found in the book of Malachi. Speaking on behalf of God, the Prophet thunders: “For, I hate divorce.” (Malachi 2:16 NASV) Then God declares divorce an act of violence. “and him who covers his garment with wrong, (literally violence)” When the Lord says that I don’t believe He is describing the acrimony that often occurs between a man and woman when they divorce. The couple divorcing could still be friends, but the act of divorce itself is inherently violent. In the previous verses we discover the reason: 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:14-15 NIV) In …
Does this study confirm Proverbs 22:6?
In a report published in Psychological Science, researchers in a study associated with Harvard Medical School in Boston, MA have concluded a person’s home environment as a child has a profound affect on them over 60 years later. In this study, that has been ongoing for 78 years, researchers followed a group of people starting at adolescence into late life. It was a unique study as it required adding new team members to continue this multi-decade analysis. This particular aspect of the study started sixty years ago and involved 81 men, 50 whose family were connected with Harvard and 31 from an inner city area in Boston. During their early adolescent years, the selected members of the study group went through an in-depth interview, where earlier researchers gathered information on their home environment, relationship with their mom and dad and general family life. They also interviewed the parents. From this, the researchers created a profile of each person and a measurement of how nurturing their family life was. The research group interviewed these men throughout …
Study: Marriage increases cancer survival rates
A new study published by Fremont’s Cancer Prevention Institute of California and the University of California San Diego School of Medicine may have unlocked why married people have a better chance of surviving cancer. Over the years, several studies have shown that married people have higher survival rates than their non married counter parts when it comes to dealing with this disease. In this particular study, researchers looked at 783,167 patients and determined that unmarried men were 27% more likely to die from cancer than their married counterparts and unmarried women 19% more likely. The group then decided to remove other socio-economic factors such as finances that could potentially affect a person’s ability to survive cancer. In America, it can impact the type of health insurance a person can buy. Once these factors were removed, they discovered that an unmarried man’s chances of dying from cancer was still 22% higher than his married counterpart and for unmarried women it was still 15% higher. The researchers concluded that though other socio-economic factors contributed to a person’s …
Study: Marriages are the happiest when couples attend church
A study released by the Institute of Family Studies concluded that marriages are the happiest when both members of a couple attend religious services or if the husband does. In contrast, the least happiest are those where neither person attends or the just the wife does. The study entitled Better together: Religious attendance, gender and relationship was written by W. Bradford Wilcox of University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project and Professor Nicholas Wolfinger from the University of Utah. For their report the two analyzed data from the National Survey of Religion and Family conducted in the US in 2006. After accounting for other factors such as economic well-being and education, they discovered: 78% of couples when both or just the husband attended church considered themselves “very” or “extremely” happy. 67% of couples considered themselves happy when neither attended services. Only 59% of couples said they were happy when just the wife attended religious services. The two stated that the reason they believe religious services are a contributing factor to successful relationships is because they are …
Was it Christianity’s insistence on monogamy that led to successful societies?
In a recent article in the National Post, Barbara Kay discussed a book, Marriage and Civilization, written by William Tucker. In it, Tucker argues that what made certain civilizations more successful than others was their insistence on monogamous marriage — one husband and one wife. He does not suggest that nations pushing monogamous marriage were perfect, but they tended to be more successful than those that practiced polygamy. He attributes Christianity for being the major reason for the acceptance of monogamy. Despite having a secular view, he described Christianity as “the most powerful force for implementing monogamy in Western Civilization.” Tucker states one of the hallmarks of a polygamous society is that it is often in conflict. He says “everywhere polygamy is practiced it creates conflict” which hindered the culture’s development. And there is a very good reason for this because “there is always a shortage of women” in a polygamous society. As a result, men would raid other groups in search of women for marriage. A second thing also happened. Due to the lack of …
The gift of time
One of the big mistakes a parent can make is pushing their children ahead of their years. We want them in kindergarten at an earlier age and as a result they end up in school being the youngest child in their class. In these situations, children can often be diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and are prescribed medication to try to control it. However, the problem may simply be their age. Put them back a year, and they would completely fit in. A recent study by Stanford Graduate School of Education says holding a child back one year before entering kindergarten can “dramatically” improve a child’s self-control in later years. In the US, children traditionally enter kindergarten at age 5. The study was co-authored by Professor Thomas Dee of Stanford University and researcher Henrik Sievertsen from the Danish National Center for Social Research. They added that holding a child back one year in kindergarten can show beneficial results for a child up to the age of 11. It could even have positive benefits …
God is a ‘myth’ controversy at Texas school heats up
In an earlier post, I reported on Jordan Wooley, a seventh grader who attends West Memorial Junior High School in Katy, Texas. She alleged on Monday, October 26, 2015, her reading teacher gave the class a poll assignment which included a question asking if God was “fact, opinion or myth.” The teacher told the students that the only correct answer to the question was “myth” and that they would lose marks with any other answer. Jordan alleged this resulted in a heated discussion in class as students challenged the answer. The teacher refused to back down and Jordan refused to back down from her faith. Later that evening, Jordan made a presentation about what happened in her class to a school board meeting. The superintendent said the administration would look into the allegations. On Wednesday, the superintendent released a statement on the controversy. Though stating the assignment was “ill-conceived,” the school had interviewed several students and none verified Jordan’s story. He added that there was a question about God in class, but the word myth …
Study: Thankfulness is the key to a successful marriage
A survey conducted by researchers with the University of Georgia concluded that thankfulness is a key to success in a marriage relationship. They even suggested that thankfulness will actually protect a marriage from divorce. The researchers gathered this information through a telephone survey of 468 married people. They quizzed them in several areas including financial, feelings of gratitude and communication. They discovered that gratitude or thankfulness was the most important indicator of the quality of the marriage, even exceeding good communication. They found that during times of marital conflicts involving fighting and other forms of negative communication that expressions of thankfulness can counteract these feelings. Speaking on behalf of the group, Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at the university’s Center for Family Research, said: “It goes to show the power of ‘thank you.’ Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other area, gratitude in a relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes.” The researchers found that financial stress in particular can lead to criticism or nagging which can cause the other …
What is the biggest cause of homelessness?
It seems we regularly hear calls by activists and politicians to end homelessness and frankly governments have been trying to do it for years, without success. To effectively deal with homelessness, you have to find its cause and cut it off at the root. I was surprised, and then I wasn’t, when I read Emma Woolley’s article on her thoughts on the reasons for homelessness. Woolley writes for the Canadian arm of Homeless Hub that looks for solutions for homelessness. Many people point to the obvious — job loss, drug and alcohol addictions and mental illness as key reasons for homelessness — and though these are major contributors, oddly those who specialize in the care of homeless people do not consider them as the number one reason for homelessness. In her article What are the statistics on homelessness due to divorce?, Woolley pointed to two organizations Homeless Link and Crisis who both stated divorce or relationship breakdown was the number one cause homelessness. This can be between spouses or children and the family resulting in …
The impact of divorce on adult children
I have posted two articles already on a 2001 report on the impact of divorce on children written by Rebecca O’Neill. In the previous articles I looked at how divorce negatively affects children and teens. In this post, I want to look at how divorce affects children as they become adults. At the time she wrote the report, Rebecca worked for the Institute for the Study of Civil Society based in London, England. In her paper, entitled Experiments in living: the Fatherless family, she compiled the statistics of many studies that analyzed the impact of absent fathers on children. While many of these studies looked at the consequence of divorce on children others simply researched the fallout of mothers raising children on their own — some being unwed mothers. Since divorce usually ends up with a mother raising a family alone, the consequences are often the same in both cases. In this last in my three-part series I look at how divorce negatively affects children once they become adults. In many instances the researchers tried …
When ‘cool’ kids lose their ‘cool’
When our children attend school parents are in immediate competition with the ‘cool’ kids for influence. It can be a tough battle. At other times, it is hard to watch your children facing the rejection that comes with not being part of the school’s ‘in’ group. A new study is showing that being ‘cool’ in school does not translate into success when you are older. The study conducted by Psychology professors Joseph Allen and Hugh Kelly from the University of Virginia found that kids perceived to be ‘cool‘ in their early teens lost much of their sheen by the time they reached their early 20s. In their study, published in the Journal of Child Development, the researchers followed 184 13-year-old teens (grades 7 and 8) for ten years until they were age 23. They found in the early teen years ‘cool’ kids gained their popularity by hanging around with the good-looking kids at the schools. The ‘cool’ kids also acted older than they really were, which their peers found strangely appealing. This included earlier participation …
Impact of divorce on teens
I was reading an article about a young teen, William Cornick, 15, from England who stabbed his teacher to death in front of his classmates in 2014. The incident shocked people across England. William was doing exceptionally well academically. He seemed like a normal, well-adjusted boy. Police found the family to be loving, caring and involved in William’s life. They could find no reason that would explain the murder of a teacher. I had to read several articles before I discovered a single line, buried at the bottom of an article that said his parents had divorced. Is it possible, this one fact hidden in dozens of pages written on this horrific attack was the reason for this violent murder? In a previous article, Studies reveal the negative impact of divorce on children, I looked at the impact of divorce on children from a report written by Rebecca O’Neill in 2001 for England’s Institute for the Study of Civil Society based in London. O’Neill looked at the vast amount of research on the profound impact absent fathers …
