Author: Andy Becker

Pass the Past

Ever find an old box that hasn’t been opened in years? You open it up and it has your old uniform or your old outfits in it. So, you try it on and if you manage to get it to stay on without using tape and staples, your glory day memories can pop up faster than the shirt buttons! Why can’t I be young again? I was called ‘The Cat’ because I was so quick when I played sports. The last time I played hockey my own teammates called me the ‘Old Jalopy’!  Old Jalopies are still useful as witnessed by all the joy (okay it was sneering laughter) from the bench. Now I am not complaining about my life now. In most ways it is better than I could have imagined. It’s just that my chiseled body of the past is now made out of clay that looks like it flopped down around my ankles. Being made of clay is not a bad thing though since God made Adam out of clay. Then he …

A Man For All Seasons

The saddest day of the year is fast approaching. It is a day in which I am sullen and silent. Yeah, if you knew me, you’d be saying what? You’re always yakking about something and at least you’re happy. Not on this day though. For this is the day I have to switch from shorts to long pants. The summer fades and soon so will my tan. The leaves fall and the rain and dampness of fall turns to snow and bitter cold of winter. And somewhere along the way I’ll be forced into the switch. And don’t even get me going about socks and shoes! I live in sandals and shorts all summer. From spring really. I walk, shop, preach, and write in them. Well, never mind what I wear when I write, if you knew you’d never be the same! But why the sadness? Seasons are inevitable and so what if I have to wear grown up pants. Good points but there is an allegory happening here. Each season has a different impact …

Me Forgive? No Way!

Betrayal is a nasty word. But that is how we feel when people we love and trust suddenly turn on us. It is tough to forgive someone we want to kick in the shins. Yet the Bible says we are to forgive even them. The Bible sure doesn’t understand, does it? Surely God would be on my side! I’m the victim here. Didn’t David ask God to dash his enemies and their children to pieces on rocks? Can’t I pray for God to destroy my once friends now enemies? Well, of course you can. You can ask God for anything you want. Doesn’t mean you will get it. And when you are talking with God, I have to warn you, he talks back! And if you start quoting the Bible to Him, He might just point out that He wrote it, that the Word is Him, and throw some quotes your way. Rather than get into a bunch of quotes about forgiveness, let’s talk about why you ought to forgive. First, let me confess that …

Who Are You?

One of my favorite crime shows, CSI, has a theme song that goes: “Who are you? Who, who, who, who?” Oddly enough it a song by a band called The Who. So who are you? Are you the same in public as in private? Are you really what you do? Basically we hide our true self while presenting what we think is a more acceptable self to others. This protects us from getting hurt and hurting others. At least that is the rationale. But doesn’t this just exaggerate fear? I mean the longer I hide myself the more I fear someone will see the real me and never ever stop slapping me. I even want to slap myself sometimes. Fear prevents us from being who we really are, so we often hide behind performance, jobs, looks, and other things the world tells us equals success. Don’t believe me? Remember how anxious you were the last time you had a bad hair day? This is all about your identity. Who you are is a fundamental question …

Don’t Blink

Do you ever think about someone you love or admire? Maybe they are the same person. What kinds of things do they believe or do? If you look at me you’d notice that I like to talk. A lot. I like to write. I like Jesus, my wife, and hockey.  You’d see that I was short for a man in my culture, a  bit grey, and after a moment or two you’d notice my sense of humor and my impish grin. Hopefully you’d see that what I believe and what I do match. How long would it take you to form an opinion of me? A few minutes? Perhaps one minute? Thirty seconds? One tenth of a second! That’s it! That is all the time it takes for the person you just met to form an impression of you. This is according to a study by Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov. I haven’t met them even for that long so I have no opinion about them either way. But I read the same …

View from the pulpit. Credit: Tyrone Warner/Flickr/Creative Commons

Keep Your Shorts On!

The other night I was preaching. I was just giving it! I mean I was on fire! God had given me the words to say and it was incredible! Then it happened! My pants started falling off. Actually they were shorts. Yup, I am the kind of preacher that wears shorts and sandals. And a shirt. I always wear a shirt. I don’t stay behind a pulpit or a podium when I talk. I walk around while I talk. Whenever possible I connect with people when I speak. This evening was a great setup for this. Unfortunately the word setup is more appropriate than I realized. So there I am in front of the church with rows of chairs in a semi circle around me and rows of pews behind them. I am right in the middle of the main aisle about standing right where everyone could get a good look at me. At first, it was a slight loosening. No problem I thought. I’ll make my way behind the podium and give them a …

"And the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came out of heaven, 'You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.'” (Luke 3:22 NASV) Credit: David Campbell/Flickr/Creative Commons

¿Lengua atada?

English version: Tongue Tied El Espíritu Santo es un miembro activo de la Trinidad y se conoce por muchos nombres-cada un atributo o simbolo de un regalo o actividad. Este artículo analiza cuándo y cómo recibir el Espíritu Santo. Superficialmente parece bastante simple. No es cierto? Quiero decir que todos sabemos cuando recibimos el Espíritu Santo al igual que todos sabemos que cuando somos salvos. Pero como en la mayoría de las cosas simples, puede haber controversia. Usted sabe que todos podemos tener una opinión sobre cualquier cosa. Pero, como cristianos, tenemos que mirar a la Biblia como nuestra verdad. Incluso cuando estamos en lo cierto, tenemos que basar nuestra verdad en la Palabra. ¿Qué dice la Biblia cuando recibe el Espíritu Santo? Algunas personas creen que reciben el Espíritu Santo en el instante en que creen en Jesucristo. Aquí están algunos versículos de la Biblia para ese punto de vista. Romanos 8: 9 y Efesios 1: 13-14 se utilizan para respaldar la idea de que recibimos el Espíritu Santo cuando creemos por primera vez. …

Under Pressure

The other day I’m driving around and I hear an annoying ‘boing-boing’ sound. Normally the only annoying sound I hear when I’m driving is my singing so this really caught my attention. The oil pressure gauge read no oil pressure! Then it read too much oil pressure! Either the motor was going to seize or blow up! My poor truck. We’ve been together a long time and every scratch and dent and rust hole is a story. It has more miles on it than the space station! And it just keeps on trucking. I like my truck more than most of my kids. Probably because it cost less and doesn’t talk back. Until now. Turns out the gauge was faulty. It still is, and we, truck and I, learned to live with it. As a Christian I also have to pay attention to my own gauges. I don’t want seize up and I certainly don’t want to blow up. But what if my gauge is faulty? Or what if I simply ignore it?Did you know …

I Hear Voices

Christmas in July! Black Friday! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Sale ends today! There are lots of incentives to buy. The excitement of that new car. The beer that gets the girls. Even the coffee that wakes us up. Man, if we only had these things we’d be fulfilled. Our life would be grand. Okay. I’m not going to lie. Money and good coffee make life much easier. I’ve had both and I’ve had neither. I prefer both. Then there are the more personal incentives like health. Boring! Why lose weight when the right beer makes you happy and attractive? Besides, there’s a drug for everything anyway right? You only live once. Life is short. You know what? Life is only short when things are going well. When things are going poorly life drags on and on. No matter what your life is like, you do only live once. And who can blame you for wanting life in the fullest? I’ve counseled many people who wanted life in the fullest. From sports stars to men and women …

I Matter

Have you ever thought about your life and wondered what happened? How did I even get here? I always knew I would be a somebody.  Like the next great journalist, rock star or great writer.  But here I am. I am just me. And what’s wrong with just me?  Probably nothing except I did not plan to be just me.  I planned to do big things with my big brain and my big ideas.  Women talk about the glass ceiling, this idea that they can see the top-level of decision makers but can never attain it.  This is not a feminist idea, this happens to men as well as women.  You see I was born into a very poor, very tired family.  My parents had their dream of farming pulled out from under their feet.  They worked extremely hard, taught their kids about love and God, and made us feel loved.  But they never recovered.  Eventually they moved to BC where Dad became a logger, then a city worker and Mom became a waitress.   I …

Who’s There?

Who makes you uncomfortable? Imagine walking down a lonely street and there is one other person walking towards you. It is just you and him or her. For some this is enough to make us nervous. For many though it will depend on what that person looks like and how they walk. Perhaps it is a big man who is not walking straight. Or it might be a person from a culture we don’t know or trust. It could even be nice, clean cut young woman who is more nervous than you are. How many times do we walk by a person with their hand or hat out asking for money? Does that make you uncomfortable? How about a limousine pulling up and a couple get up who are well dressed and appear very wealthy? Would they make you feel uncomfortable? I wonder how many times in a day we pre-judge others? It is more likely that the person coming towards you on the street just wants to get to where they are going. The …

My Wife Told Me To!

There are two lines of men at the gates of heaven. One line is long and winding as far as St. Peter can see. The other line has a lone man in it. The sign above the long line is for men whose wives nagged them. The other one is for men whose wives did not nag them. “Ever since we started these lines no man as ever stood in this line. You are the first.” St. Peter tells the guy. “Tell me your secret.” “My wife told me to stand in this line.” Well now you’re either laughing or spitting but I tell this story to illustrate a point. Men are called to lead in their families. This is not as the world leads though, but as Christ leads, so women don’t get mad or jealous just yet. Christ-like leadership is called servant leadership. You see, Christ led the disciples and still leads the church today. Not once did he act like a dictator. Not once did he demand his followers to pick up …

Our Favorite Things

“Raindrops and roses and whiskers on kittens, these are a few of my favorite things.” I think that’s the way the song goes. Now I get that we need rain and I don’t even mind roses. And yes I am partial to kittens but I never really thought about their whiskers. I would think they are much more favored by the kitten them by me. As usual when I have too much quiet time sent aside for prayer, my mind wonders to such deep and pressing questions as my favorite things. For me, the list would include cinnamon buns and ice hockey. After I fantasised about eating cinnamon buns (without gaining weight)  while scoring the Stanley Cup winning goal yet again, my mind starting thinking again. This is both dangerous and difficult. You see I have a box brain. That means to actually start thinking about anything different or new takes a lot of effort. My wife will tell you this. “What do you want for dinner?” She’ll ask. “Cinnamon buns.” What do you want …

The Big Leagues

I like to think of myself as a full service preacher. I like to preach and nobody has fallen asleep since that time when I got everybody to quietly just leave their shoes and jackets on their seats. We all snuck in the back room and blew a trumpet really loud. Poor guy! Thought he missed the rapture! Okay, I didn’t do that but if anybody actually does fall asleep… Sometimes I can get pretty happy in my role. You know I start feeling good and confident. And then someone says it’s prayer time. I can prayer with the best of them. For about five minutes. The other day I was invited to an intercessory prayer meeting. For those of you who don’t know, this is not for the faint of heart or the simple-minded. This is the equivalent of being asked to try out for your favorite professional sports team! My wife, Stella, and I head out to the meeting. I entered the room with confidence. After all not only was I a preacher, …

Whose Story is it Anyway?

Over the years I listened to more than a few testimonies. In Christian circles these are simply stories about what God did in our lives. A while back, as in a long time ago before we had running water and electricity, I had a job as a Family Worker. This meant that Fridays were court days. I would testify to a family’s ability to care for their own children.  This was not as much fun as one would think. The connection is not that being a Christian preacher is way more fun. The connection is that both require one thing to be credible and valid. Both require the truth. Jesus said the truth will set you free. In court, no matter how hurtful the consequences of my testimony were to the parents, I had to tell the truth. If I didn’t tell the truth and the judge made a decision even partly based on what I said the family could be torn apart or a child could be put in harm’s way. Telling the truth …

"And the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came out of heaven, 'You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.'” (Luke 3:22 NASV) Credit: David Campbell/Flickr/Creative Commons

Tongue Tied?

Español: ¿Lengua atada? The Holy Spirit is an active member of the Trinity and is known by many names– each one an attribute or symbolic of a gift or activity. This article looks at when and how to receive the Holy Spirit. On the surface this seems simple enough right? I mean we all know when we receive the Holy Spirit just like we all know when we are saved.  But as in most things simple, there can be controversy. You know we can all have an opinion about anything. But as Christians we have to look at the Bible as our truth.  Even when we are right, we need to base our truth on the Word. So what does the Bible say when you receive the Holy Spirit? Some people believe you receive the Holy Spirit the instant you believe in Jesus Christ. Here are some Bible verses for that perspective. Roman 8:9 and Ephesians 1: 13-14 are used to back the idea that we receive the Holy Spirit when we first believe. Perhaps …

What’s Your Problem?

From a Christian perspective the number one problem in the world is sin. But what does that mean? If this is true should the world be worried? How do I know if sin is in my life? It is at this point that most Christians give a pat answer as we explain all about Adam and Eve and the first sin and God’s grand design that culminates in Jesus’ victory at the cross and resurrection. But here’s the problem with that. It’s true. It is true but not heard because it is a hard message to receive. When I tell someone they are a sinner, but they believe they are essentially good and can point to all the good things they do, it does not compute for them. How unfair it would be, they reason, for God to have me born with original sin. Would a loving God actually have innocent babies born with sin? This doesn’t make sense. Much of what God does, does not make sense to us Christians so how much more …

The struggle to choose the right path. Credit: James Wheeler/Flickr/Creative Commons

Why do I second guess myself?

Dear Andy Every time I make a decision I doubt myself.  I have very little confidence in myself and many decisions I made have been disastrous.  What can I do to feel more confident and to make better decisions? There are many reasons why someone lacks confidence in their decisions. First I would look at the evidence. No one makes all the right decisions all the time. Perhaps you are focusing on the ones that had less than stellar results. Perhaps there is a history of poor decision making. Many people can be very adept at making decisions in some areas of their lives but not in other areas. For example, a business person might make wise decisions regarding finances or planning for the future but make poor ones regarding dating or relationships. If you are like this, then your focus needs to change from the poor decisions and towards the good decisions you made. Look at the difference between the two. Try to find common themes with the good ones. For example, perhaps they …

Be different not divisive

I lived in many places and I traveled a fair bit. Divisions are everywhere. Rural people are different than urban people. Rich people are different than poor people. West coast people are different than prairie people. Add in different ethnics and you have a whole lot of differences. Now what do we do? We’re not all the same. Or are we? Ever notice your neighbors? They’re not like you! Some of our neighbors look like us and act like us, but we’re all different. I lived in some areas in which everybody looked and acted the same. I now live in a more diverse area in which people act different from one another. Here is the famous Andy life equation that you never heard about because I just made it up. Difference does not equal division. This changes everything! Think about your own family. Not too many of your brothers and sisters are the same are they? The same with your kids. One might have light hair or be taller or thinner than the others. …

Yakkity Yak

Several years back I worked with a counseling ministry and was in a session when the woman blurted out: “You haven’t heard a word I said!” I thought that’s a weird way to start a conversation. But just in case I was actually supposed to listen I nodded and grunted. “I knew it!” I should have shook instead of nodded. This reminds me of a certain counselor colleague of mine. He had a client that believed she was boring and half through her session, he fell asleep! Men are just not wired into conversation as much as women. I know there are some men who yak up a storm and there are some women who hardly ever talk at all. Both are rare. Most men I know only talk about their favorite sport. Most women talk about anything except that man’s favorite sport.    A woman talking to you it is a gift. Unless they are mad at you. Then it’s a bit less of a gift. So back to the woman mad at me. …

I am Superman!

I am Superman. It’s true. I have proof of it and you can even ask my wife. I have a Superman key chain and Superman pyjamas, and even a Superman t-shirt. But I did stop short of the Superman onesie. Okay so maybe I don’t stop runaway trains and maybe a bullet could speed faster than me. Some would say I don’t even fly. Never let reality get in the way of the truth! God changed me into a Superman. Here’s how he did that. First of all do you remember the story of Superman? He was an alien sent to earth from a dying planet. Something about earth gave him super human powers and he could do all sorts of things like flying and stopping bullets with his chest. But rather than live the life of a superhero he created an alter ego called Clark Kent. Clark Kent was not the type of alter ego I would chose. He was wimpy, nervous, and unsure of himself. Basically the exact opposite of Superman. I guess …

Gone Bananas

I’m only sixty percent bananas! Woohoo! And my family said I was one hundred percent bonkers! Actually I am a bit more than sixty percent but I’ll take it. Especially since I am more bananas than chicken. I guess a crazy person who isn’t chicken is pretty scary so I better explain this one. A friend of mine ordered one of those DNA tests to find out about her roots and what wonderful diseases to which she can look forward when she gets old. Apparently she will be a healthy old broad. Then I remembered some old science that claimed we had something like ninety six percent similar DNA to a chimpanzee. Of course the evolutionists thought this was great since it proved we came from apes which came from some other animal etc until you got to pond scum. So the bottom line is we are all evolved pond scum. Except I don’t want to be pond scum! I looked at the similarities between DNA of humans and other things like chimps and bananas. …

Three Crosses

On Easter we focus on Jesus and the cross. This is awesome and good. However there were three crosses that Good Friday. The middle cross has Jesus on it and you can’t do what he did on that cross. No one can. But the one on the right and the one of the left each one had a thief hanging on it. The Bible doesn’t say much more about them. If you were there, you’d just think three men were being executed. The reality is much different. Jesus was paying the price for us all. He chose to hang there and to die out of love. He became the sacrifice so we could be set free from the consequences of our sins. So this wasn’t just a bad guy dying. This was the only person who never sinned dying so everybody who did sin could live! The two thieves represent us. It’s hard to believe our lives can be summed up by two thieves I know but hear me out. The guy on the left …

Minature Greyhound Credit: Opus Moreschi/Flickr/Creative Commons

Dogged Dog

Ever hear that expression: “like a dog with a bone?” It is used to mean focused perseverance. To keep your eye on the prize and to work until you achieve that goal. In my house though it would be more like dog with my shoe! My little guy, Spot, prefers shoes to bones. So if you come over to our place, you will find him walking around with your shoe on his head! I am not making this up! He is an Italian Greyhound and they have long skinny faces. He literally sticks his nose right into the shoe and carries it to his dungeon of destruction. One time a guest had rather smelly feet and shoes. After Spot put his head into the shoe he sat in the middle of the floor and just grinned, drunk on the smell! Not sure if that was his goal but he achieved it. We can learn a lot from dogs. Cats too and I am even more of a cat person but please don’t tell Spot that. …

Credit: Michael Holler/Flickr/Creative Commons

Don’t Get Caught With Your Pants Down!

Mistakes, I’ve made a few.  Sorry Frank but I made those mistakes doing things my way and not the right way. I used to be an athlete. If you saw me you’d be able to see my chiseled abs and bulging muscles. Okay, so the bulges are not in my biceps and the chiseled looks have faded into my memory where they remained exaggerated to this day. After all I am a story teller.  At one time I was a ranked tennis player…but only on those hot summer days. Yet I made mistakes. Yup, I admit that I was not perfect in either my game or my life. During a tennis match one day I was having trouble putting the spare ball in my pocket. You see in tennis for some reason players stash a spare ball in their shorts. Weird.  When I played hockey I was never allowed to carry an extra puck. The same when I played football. The refs would get really mad if you had your own ball. This one day …

Dutch tulip field Credit: Cor van der Waal/Flickr/Creative Commons / www.fotografiecor.nl

Nicer Than Me?

I’m excited! No, it’s not because the cinnamon buns are just out of the oven! I’m excited because I just had lunch with a friend. The kind of friend who knows how stupid I am and still loves me. Can you imagine that? This guy, who will remain anonymous lest anyone of you tries to steal him from me, is a genuine loving guy. God put us together as friends before we even knew each other. He is so nice that if he had a twin and both arrived at a door at the same time it would turn into a bad knock-knock joke!  “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Nobody because they still can’t decide who’s going first!”  “After you.” “No, after you.” It would never end! People actually think I’m nice. Except my granddaughter who knows the truth. Being nice is a gift that some of us truly have. Some people who aren’t nice act nice in public. Then they go home and yell at their kids or steal their kid’s candy when they’re not …

One of tens of thousands of uses that men have for duct tape Credit: Mike Carroll/Flickr/Creative Commons

Don’t Do This!

What is wrong with some people! I give them a thoughtful gift and I get flack for it! All you men out there, I’m going to need you to take warning here. Apparently giving duct tape to a new-born man-child is against the law! Here’s the story. A long time ago I worked with Insight for Living Ministries, a radio broadcast program. There were only a few guys and a flock of women. I’m not sure if flock is the right term here. But the women decided to host an at-work baby shower. The men tried valiantly to remove themselves from this trap but since it was at work only the quicker thinking boss managed to escape. Knowing it was a baby boy I had one of those aha moments. You know like when the clouds part and a ray of light hits you on the forehead with inspiration. Only I think the ray may have hit me a bit harder than it should have that day. “I am a man. A boy is a …

Credit: NASA Johnson/Flickr/Creative Commons

Don’t Make Me Come Down There!

I have a sign that reads: Don’t make me come down there! God How many of us remember one of our parents yelling that to us when we were kids? Never, ever, in the history of my life was that a good thing. Just once it would have been good to have my Mom say “Don’t make me come down there and give you treats!” That would have been cool. But maybe parents aren’t supposed to be cool. That sign always make me smile and my sister in law, Carol, taped a personal note to the back side of it tells me how special I am and that God would be pleased with me even if he had to come down here. Imagine God actually coming down here. Go ahead close your eyes. Unless you’re driving, then don’t close your eyes. So God comes down to your house or room. Would he really be pleased with you? Or would he be carrying a big stick bent on punishing you for your latest bit of stupidity? …

Jesus truck in Aurora, IL, USA Credit: Adam Burk/Flickr/Creative Commons

Who You Gonna Call?

“If there’s something strange in your neighborhood,Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!If there’s something weird and it don’t look good,Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!” This advice comes from Ray Parker who wrote this very popular theme song for the movie Ghostbusters. I bet some of you are singing that song right now! While the idea of a bunch of guys driving a hearse and chasing ghosts made for a fun movie, is it true? Can mere humans defeat spirits? Now I am a sports fan. And there are some games that I would like to see but I must say this would be a blow out. Not worth paying money for that’s for sure. Just like paying hundreds of dollars to watch a fight that ends with the first punch. Better to save your money and not bother. Yeah I know I just made all the Hollywood movie types mad at me and they’ll probably get the Illuminati to delete me, but it’s true. We are just not a match for the unseen world. Let me …

The Devil is a Big Fat Carb!

We all know that the devil is a liar but how on earth is he a big fat carb? Let me explain. There are two things that haunt my everyday life these days and both have to do with my mouth. Political correctness is like a diet of what comes out of my mouth and my arch nemesis, the Keto diet, limits what goes into my mouth. Either way my mouth is not happy even if both might be better for my health. If you are a keto person then you know that protein and fat are good and carbs are bad. The devil is bad so therefore the devil is a carb. Normally the wisdom needed to put this together would be only available when I am sneaking into the kitchen at two in the morning looking for a non-keto snack. The fact that I had this revelation in mid morning while talking with a friend means it must be true. My friend, who, for the sake of anonymity, is called Mike, showed me …

Credit: emeraldimp/flickr/Creative Commons

Don’t Be A Goat!

Don’t be a goat! Be a sheep! Wait, what? I get the end is near routine but what does that have to do with goats and sheep? Let me get right to the point on this one. Jesus, my hero, said that when He comes back He will separate the goats from the sheep. The goats get put on his left which I am told is a place of shame. The sheep get put on the right, which is a place of honor. The goats are people who reject Jesus. The sheep are his followers. Don’t be a goat! I used to be a goat. I bounced around like all the other goats. Doing what I wanted and having a whole bunch of goat fun. Then I became a sheep. But I was not a good sheep. Instead of doing the things that the other sheep were doing like eating grass in the pasture and listening for the Sheppard’s voice I jumped the fence and went to play with the wolves. Remember Little Red Riding …

Credit: Blake Chen/Flickr/Creative Commons

Life is like a Box of Spaghetti

You want to see a man panic quicker than dog eats a treat? Ask him what he’s thinking. Men hardly ever ask each other this question and for good reason: Most of the time we don’t know what we’re thinking. I see the look on young husbands’ faces when their lovely bride stares at them intently and coos: “What are you thinking?” The right answer is always something like: “I was thinking about how lucky I am that you love me!” The truth is most men think about nothing. A lot. I better explain this before I got the boot out of the Man League! Men think in boxes. Take me for example. I have many interests. I think about one interest at a time. I like sports. I like cars. I like food. I like ministry. So when I am watching sports I am in my sports box. I don’t think about other interests. When I am in ministry mode, I don’t think about sports. Unless I can find a way to combine them, …

Credit: Sophie/Flickr/Creative Commons

A Short Tall Tale

I’m a short guy or so I’m told. You know, I am not sure if I really believe it though. Now there is some evidence that this might be true. Like one day I wanted to pick up something for my wife (who doesn’t discount this short conspiracy completely) at a local store. What I wanted was on the top hook. I don’t know who hung this thing but I think it was a Nephilim or at least some giant hybrid. The hook was so high that they even had to raise the ceiling to accommodate it! Okay, maybe this place just had a high ceiling. Picture this. I am a mature man, age counts you know, and I am standing on the bottom shelf stretching and straining. This tall fellow comes along and seeing me struggling there, walks over and calmly unhooks the item and hands it to me. Of course I said thank you. What else could I do? I did grumble to myself that had the hook been at a normal height, …

Credit: FrancoisMalan/Flickr/Creative Commons

Talk the Walk

“Honey we got to talk.” Words every husband loves to hear! Of course my wife never ever says that because she is about as perfect as they come and because she reads my articles. Husbands would rather do almost anything to get out of these talks. Mostly because these talks aren’t really talks at all. They are more listens. One of my strategies to avoid these uncomfortable heart to hearts is to take a sudden interest in things like walking. Or fixing the car. Or even root canals. My garage is full of junk so fixing the car is out of the question. I can’t afford to go to the dentist so that’s out. So I suggest a walk. This buys me time to guess what she wants to talk about. One day I might just ask her but until then, I suggest we walk. Actually I love to walk. Stella, my wife, loves to walk. Our dog loves to walk. The problem is we walk very differently. Spot and I are more meanderers than …

Credit: Renato Domingos/Flickr/Creative Commons

Hate the Wait?

Who here loves waiting? Okay I know there is really nobody in the room with me except Spot, my lovely Italian Greyhound. And yes, if it means he can sleep on the couch, then he loves waiting. I am a weird guy and I don’t mind waiting sometimes. But only if there are people more interesting than me in the waiting room. The other day I was in a doctor’s office with my granddaughter. There were only two moms and two kids in there so when we sat down I wasn’t feeling particularly optimistic about being entertained. But I was saved from the boredom of cats playing piano by a young toddler named George. I might have changed his name to protect his mom, so if you were in a waiting room with a toddler named George and if George is your son, this isn’t about you. Honest! So my granddaughter and I are deciding where to sit in and we decided on a couple of corner seats. Little George was playing with some toys. …