Author: Barb Smith

I will show you a better way

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When we find ourselves in a messy situation where there is confusion and doubt, I wonder if there isn’t a message in it for us.  And, maybe the message is the Holy Spirit saying, “hold on here, slow down because I want to show you a better way through these circumstances.  The Bible talks about God making the path of life known to us. “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” (Psalm 16:11) This verse expresses God’s desire for us to know Him and experience happiness in our lives. There is a better way of doing things. It’s what happened to me several year’s back. I was in a very uncomfortable situation in our church, where I was experiencing rejection from people. No matter what I did, or how hard I tried to gain their approval, nothing changed. In fact, the rejection seemed to get worse. I wanted to defend myself and attack back, and as long as I continued …

From fear to anger

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The upheaval on our planet right now has created rifts in relationships online, off-line, in our churches and communities. I cringe when I see unkind comments and anger directed at opposing opinions amongst friends. We find ourselves in a crisis as the pressure builds and creates cracks of division and deep crevices of fear and hopelessness in our lives.  A crisis tends to bring out what is really inside us, and we shouldn’t be surprised by the ranting and pushing all around us. In these moments, love bows to fear as it takes control of our lives and vitriolic words pour off our keyboards onto the screen.   Death or life lies in our hands, and in every crisis there is the opportunity to make things better. Proverbs tells us that life and death is in our tongue (Proverbs 18:21). When we speak we can bring encouragement and life to people, or we can speak with condemnation, anger and bitterness, bringing death. This applies to the things we say and the things we write as we comment …

Rejection or redirection?

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Rejection is hard, and repeated rejection can be devastating unless we view it with a healthy perspective. I truly believe that through rejection God wants to show us that there is a better way to fulfill our desires and His plans for our life. Over the years, I have looked to people and church leaders that I believed could help me put in motion my plans to encourage women through various avenues. I gave a lot of time and energy communicating my thoughts to them. There were countless emails and one-on-one meetings in an attempt to connect and create what was on my heart. I tried so hard to make it happen and left no page unturned. However, instead of encouragement, I encountered rejection. Some felt threatened I was competing with them. Others wanted it done their way. Some just ignored me because, they already had a program in the church. But I was simply trying to do, what I believe God had put on my heart, and the repeated rejection was difficult to understand.  That is because, so …

Forgiving others is your gift to you

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I have learned over the years that forgiveness isn’t about the one who hurt you.  Forgiving others for what they did, is all about you! It is one of the healthiest choices, you can make for yourself and your well-being. We need to have the mindset that when it comes to forgiving others, you are doing it for you and no one else. Joyce Meyers describes forgiveness as a gift that you give yourself. She writes, “Forgiveness is about you, even if the other person doesn’t forgive you.   Forgiveness begins 100% with you. It’s a gift you give yourself.” Often, we confuse forgiveness with making amends with the person who hurt us. Joyce reiterates that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person at all! Whether they apologize or don’t, you need to forgive first. At times, we may try to downplay what the other person did to deal with the hurt, but that is not the solution. You need to forgive, because it transforms you from a victim into the victor. I …

One sign that you may have chosen the wrong path

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When it comes to the choices we make, particularly as women, many of us don’t realize how our ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is often attached to people-pleasing.  As a woman, whose life was dominated for years by people-pleasing, I can tell you that it does not end well for anyone trying to gain the approval and attention of others, especially of those you feel hold more significance than you. As women, we spend too much time worrying about what others think we should be doing, rather than focussing on what God wants us to do. And it is time, we start checking in with ourselves before we say ‘yes’ or no’ to our involvement in the lives of others, even if their request is a good thing. This requires us to be honest about what we are really feeling about the choices we are presented with.  Why are we doing this? Are we doing it to gain another person’s approval? Are we doing it out of guilt? We need to start trusting our thoughts and feelings, as …

Playing the victim like a puppet on a string

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People often find their thoughts and behaviours being affected by the decisions of others, particularly, if the ones closest to them are making choices that they believe are not in their best interests.  Our thoughts begin to revolve around them and overwhelm us, as we allow worry to take over. Our lives become a bit of a blur, as the worry continues to grow. Relationship experts, Stacey and Paul Martino, tell us that when we focus on wanting others to change, we put ourselves in a ‘victim position.’ We are controlled by their choices and start to act like a puppet on a string, yanked around by everything they do.  We need to ‘detach’ from the expectations we put on others and cut the strings that keep us under the control of their choices. God wants us to live happy and healthy lives, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  As we transfer our expectations from our loved ones and place our hopes and desires for them on the shoulders of our Father God, we will be able to focus on our …

The red flag: Moving past anger

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When dealing with anger, it seems that we often make it about the other person, the one who sparked our anger. We blame our anger on them and their actions or words, and rarely about our response and the way we handled the offence. I read where one author treated his anger like a marker or a red flag, as he called it. Whenever he felt a reaction to an offence and recognized the anger that was rising from it, he literally visualized planting a red flag in the ground, staking out where his anger began. From that moment, he would take personal responsibility for his anger and not make it about the other person, as he intentionally worked towards creating a response that would bring resolve and peace for himself.   Looking back at the red flag marker, he could see how far he had come from his initial response.   This has been an awesome visualization that I practice when I feel anger stirring in me.  And, the goal, of course, is to move past the red …

Finding your secret place of prayer

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Sometimes, I find it hard to pray. I feel disconnected and far from God. It seems that I have to pray long prayers and work hard to get God’s attention. What is my perception of prayer that it makes it seem like such an effort? Do I feel unworthy or not good enough? Do I feel like I’m barely existing and disconnected from myself, people and God? Thankfully, there is a divine connection available to us, and we can have unlimited access to heaven, at all times. Jesus said: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) And, if you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died on the cross for your sins and was resurrected from the dead, you have the key to connecting with heaven from here on earth. To help me pray easily and effectively, I often create a garden, a secret place in my mind, where I can go anytime day or night. I …

Are you trapped in your past trauma?

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“Instead, the wandering is slow. It’s healing. It’s devoid of shame. God takes those who have been traumatized and frightened by the hand and leads them through.” – Dr. Jill Richardson (First 5) What is ‘trapped trauma’? Trapped trauma describes people who are trapped by their past negative experiences. They can’t seem to move past it. It hangs like an anchor to their souls. I began to read about this condition that many find themselves ‘trapped’ in.  I have not experienced physical trauma, but I do know the symptoms of emotional trauma, and it can feel as torturous as the physical and I have been trapped by it. Trauma does take time to heal, but often people will resist the steps needed to be freed from it. While in slavery in Egypt, the Israelis had been beaten and abused. Yet, as God wanted to release them from their captivity, the Israelites resisted Moses encouragement and instructions to move out of their slavery into the Promised Land. They remained trapped in Egypt as they struggled to …

Exposing secret strongholds

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At the beginning of the COVID pandemic, we had some unusually strong winds blowing through our city and province. It was a pounding and relentless wind that went on for several weeks. It was uncomfortable to even be outside and people wondered when the winds would stop blowing. During this time, I often went onto our deck, faced the wind, looked up at the open sky above our yard and played ‘Catch the Wind” by Bethel Music.  Sometimes, I would just stand facing the wind and praying. At other times, I would pick up my flags, dance and worship on the deck and blow my Shofar. (I am sure it had my neighbors wondering what is that?) In the Old Testament, as Israel marched around the city of Jericho, a natural stronghold in the Promised Land, the Shofar was sounded to announce God’s victory and the pulling down of Jericho’s walls. I play my Shofar with the same expectation of victory. But the Bible also talks about spiritual strongholds that need to be pulled down …

Removing the tentacles of judgment

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Over the years, John 3:16 has consistently been one of the most popular verses for Christians. But do you know what the most popular verse is for those who don’t believe? Surveys reveal it is “don’t judge, lest you be judged.” And God has been really speaking to me about judging, because Jesus “holds space for me” and allows me to show up with all my faults and weaknesses. But am I treating others including those who are not believers the same way God treats me? Jesus embraces me despite my imperfections. He embraces me through eyes of love and nothing I do can change His perception of me. And when we get ourselves into trouble, we can ask for help and God will provide it. But notice what James adds: 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5) God will provide help without finding fault. He won’t point a finger of blame or judgment when …

Embracing your rest?

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“Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) What does ‘rest’ in God mean to me? Personally, I can rest in God because Jesus has made me ‘enough’ and in the eyes of God I will always be enough despite my mistakes, failures and shortcomings. Truly, there is a liberation that takes place when one accepts Christ as their personal  Saviour. No more worry about heaven or hell.  Eternity is secured because of the rich red blood of Christ that flowed down the cross to redeem the world from sin. Through Christ’s death, we become a ‘friend of God’ and we are no longer a slave to the law of religious dos and don’ts.    A relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes easy knowing we are deeply loved as a ‘child of God’. We can talk with Him, confess our sin, failures and shortcomings and then move on, no longer restricted by them. But it takes faith, believing what God says about you, and then …

A better way?

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“Now eagerly desire the greater gifts And yet I will show you the most excellent way.” (1 Corinthians 12:31) Strong’s Greek Dictionary defines “way” in this verse as a road or a journey: A way – (Strong’s Greek 3598 – A way, road, journey, path. Apparently a primary word; a road; by implication, a progress; a mode or means This verse is talking about the specific journey that God has for all of us. The first step is learning to love ourselves because we were created in the image of God and that means we cannot hate or despise ourselves. How can we love others while hating ourselves? This verse also talks about the many gifts God gives His children to serve Him. We serve God best when we embrace our unique gifts and talents that have been given for us to serve this world.  Each one of has a purpose that we can step into and live out our journey through life. This verse has been ringing in my ears these past months because life’s …

Entering the void

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If you are like me, you want the comfortableness of certainty in your life. And over these past few months that has been completely shattered, I have said ‘we will get through this’ to myself and others too many times. Often, when we enter a desert time, familiarity is stripped away and uncertainty becomes our ‘new normal’. This season has several names, the unknown, the void or the desert. Yes, we can get through this, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will be better. It may also be different from what you were expecting. If you are counting on certainty, this fleeting hope could ruin your life. There is a risk that comes with living and instead of constantly fighting it, we need to go with it. It’s the tension of the unknown and realizing that nothing is for certain that keeps us alert and alive. This is where God’s grace needs to become our ‘new normal.’  Getting through these times, requires us to recognize the tension that grace holds for us. Grace holds …

How to become a fountain of life in times of trouble

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In your mind picture a fountain that you have seen in a park.  This is a picture I am holding in my mind as I walk through these days of uncertainty with riots, fires, rules and legislation changing during this Covi-19 panic.  These things have been weighing on many of us heavily and each day something new gets thrown onto the pile of rubbish. And I find this garbage growing in my mind, and occupying way too much space there. But like a stream that never stops flowing, even though garbage and rocks get thrown into it, if there is enough pressure, the water will find its way over, through, and around the obstacles.  If, there is enough pressure flowing from the source, then the stream is unstoppable. This is how God wants us to function in these days and always.  In John 7:38, Jesus said if we believe in Him that rivers of living water would flow out of us. We are to be the fountain life to everyone around us. The Holy Spirit …

What being easily offended says about you

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The writer of Proverbs describes a person, who is not easily offended by what others say about them, as being a person of glory: A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger,And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11) Notice how the writer says that it is a person’s glory to overlook a transgression. In other words, the ability to overlook an offence says a lot about who you are. According to Terri Cole, my favourite on-line therapist, being offended is an ego response to what someone says to you or about you. You cannot control what others say or think about you. What matters is what you think in your heart about you! Being easily offended, means you are allowing others to define who you are. When you get offended by what they say, you are giving their words more importance than what you think about yourself or what God says about you. Cole says an ego-offended state also perpetuates a victim mentality which disempowers you and redirects your focus off …

Dealing with the fear of the unknown

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Fear of the unknown can overwhelm us and impact our body, mind and spirit in unhealthy ways as we start obsessively worrying about the future, which some refer to it as “future tripping.” The actual purpose of fear is to signal our brain that there is potential for danger or death telling us to ‘fight, flee or freeze.’ Though there is benefit to it, that changes to negative when we are consumed by prolonged bouts of fear. Psychotherapist Terri Cole, who has worked with women for 20 years, states that we must be aware of the psychological, emotional and physical cost to walking around in a constant, heightened state of fear. She says being on constant alert is not good for you and can even compromise your immune system. Exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed, brain fog and depression are all symptoms that your nervous system is being overloaded by fear. And if this describes you, it may also suggest this pandemic is exposing deeper emotional issues and trauma in your life, that you have been carrying around …

A cocoon is not a tomb: A prophetic word about the Coronavirus

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A recent prophetic word by Nate Johnston has encouraged me during these last stages of the COVID lockdown. For a while now, my husband and I have sensed that things may be different for the church and the people of God when we are finally released from this lockdown or maybe  ‘set free’ is a better term to use. Nate Johnston is a prophetic minster from Australia who I have been following for years. Nate’s recent prophetic word “This is not a tomb season, This is a cocoon season” has helped me understand the place many of us are finding ourselves in — spiritually confused, frightened, disorientated and maybe a bit angry.  For many of us, it feels like we have been locked up in a dark place for too long and the glimmer of hope that it may soon be over has many wondering what’s next?  Things may not be the same. We are not the same and how do we prepare for this new stage that has been set before us?  Nate prophesies …

Start walking

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One of the problems with vision is that we want instant success. We want it to happen now, but in order for you to produce fruit, there first needs to be pruning.  Pruning can be a long process for some of us, as in 40 years of pruning from when my husband started to write and pursue his passion for Bible teaching and world events.  It wasn’t until my retirement that I began to pursue my dream and desire for women to connect and whenever I gave up and let go of the dream, it always came back stronger than ever.  Maybe God has given you a dream or vision that He has called you to do. Below are a few tips from a sermon delivered by Matt Adams a couple of years ago, that helped me in my journey: “It doesn’t matter how many we lead. It matters where we lead them and how you lead them.” “Learn to lead from your placement, where you are now, without wanting to be a star.” “We …

Why the empty hospital beds?

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It’s hard to imagine there would be empty hospital beds in the middle of this pandemic, but there are. A friend of ours recently suffered a serious health issue requiring medical attention. He told us that about a third of the beds on his ward are empty. He added when people leave, they are not being replaced with new patients.

Can we block our own prayers?

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What is your stance these days in light of all that is happening? What are your thoughts? Are they fear based or faith based? Are you standing on solid ground or shaky ground? Do we need to shift our prayers from a place of fear and frustration and step onto more solid ground? The Apostle Peter writes: “Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3) Based on this promise, I have challenged myself to change my position from pleading to God for help to stepping into a posture of thanksgiving and praise. God’s word says that He has already given us everything we need to live a life of abundance. Asking for what we want or need is a good thing, but staying stuck in a place of continual pleading may block us from receiving or even seeing God’s provision and answers to our prayers because of our frustration and …

Keeping Prayer Simple

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When I looked at prayer in the past, I thought it meant praying for at least one hour before it counted, and this belief discouraged me from entering into prayer. I believed that it was just too hard to incorporate into my everyday life and as a result prayer was often the last thing I did. Then I started feeling guilty about not praying enough, and this led me to just stop praying altogether because I felt my prayers weren’t good enough or long enough, so why bother. The priests ministering in the temple in the Old Testament had a great spiritual responsibility to offer sacrifices to God for the sins of the people. But they also had other duties. These were called ‘sacred lots’ where the menial duties of priesthood were divided up including such things as kitchen duties, yard work and providing oversight to the Levites. They had other necessary duties that did not include the sacrifices, but were important enough to be called ‘sacred.’ Understanding that the Old Testament priests had menial …

Standing in hope

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I watched our dog, Lulu, bounce down the stairs, go to her dish, do her little dance as she looked up at me with hopeful eyes expectantly waiting for her breakfast. She knew that I would not disappoint and I realized as I prepared her dog food that this was the perfect picture of hope! I have been trying to enter into hope as I prayed at different times throughout the day and the night about the Coronavirus. But the events of recent days are pushing against hope. Like many, I was caught up in the concern of those feeling panicked, overwhelmed and because of this, fear held me in its grip as I struggled to pray during this COVID-19 crisis. I had lost my hope. And, in the midst of this an indignation and anger rose up within me and I found myself fighting and pushing back against the injustice and manipulation this pandemic had brought into our lives. And for me, hope was the seal and security I needed to continue stepping forward …

Some timely advice from 1776

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I just read these encouraging words during this difficult time: In 1776, Thomas Paine penned the following famous words to encourage General Washington’s discouraged troops to stay the course during the prolonged Revolutionary War: “These are the times that try men’s souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.” Read more Two days later, Washington’s army crossed the Delaware.

Standing in Faith Against the Storm

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Often during the past few weeks, I have felt fear and uncertainty rise up within me. During these times, I made a firm decision not to succumb to fear, and as soon as I did that, something changed and life suddenly felt lighter and brighter in our living room where I was standing. As I stepped forward and envisioned myself on a beach with waves rising and building on the waters before me, I was reminded of Christ’s words, “Peace to you!” Shortly after the Lord’s crucifixion, the disciples had locked themselves in a room for fear of the Jews and the uncertain times they were in. Jesus appeared in their midst saying: “Peace to you! As the Father has sent me, I also send you.’ And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”  John 20:21-22 The Hebrew word for spirit in the Old Testament is ‘ruach’ and it means ‘air in motion.’ The same word is translated ‘breath’ and life’. When talking about the Holy Spirit, Jesus …

Touching heaven, touching earth

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Like many these days, I am praying more often than usual and in so many ways God has used this season of ‘panic’ COVID-19 to pull me into prayer more consistently than I have done for many years. Yes, God clearly used this time to ‘work out good,’ and bring out good disciplines in my life.  But there has been a change in how I pray. I am now praying more often, but not as long as I used too. These are not extended periods of prayers. They can be short just two to five minutes or sometimes longer. As well, I have set aside specific times to pray. When the clock strikes 8 am, 12 noon, 4 pm, 8 pm and 12 midnight, these are my designated times to pray. I start first by giving thanks. I often take five slow deep breaths to help clear my mind and slow my thoughts and then I enter into a time of prayer. Sometimes things come up and I miss my time, but I carry on with …

Staying on your side of the street

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When I talk about  ‘staying on your side of the street,’ I am not referring to social-distancing that we are seeing worldwide with the ‘coronavirus pandemic.’ I am referring to a ‘pandemic’ of my own making, where the actions and opinions of others sends me spiraling into anger, fear, confusion and doubt about my own abilities.  And, even as scientists are working on a vaccine for the present ‘coronavirus’ threat, I am very aware of my need to become immune to my personal pandemic, where I require validation from others to feel good about myself. One of the symptoms of this disease is that I become negative or depressed when someone says something that offends or degrades me. If I allow their words to affect my life then I have the ‘validation virus.’ The ‘validation virus’ occurs when I lack confidence in my myself and find myself deeply affected by what others say. Because I have failed to validate myself as a person of worth created in the image and likeness of God, then others …

Are fear and worry weighing you down?

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I was at a seminar several years back, and they wanted to show us how much negative thinking affects us. Each of us were told to hold our arms out from our side and then have someone try to push our arm down while we resisted. Most of us put up a good fight, but then we were told to have that person push down our arms while were thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. It could be anything from rehearsing past failures to thinking about how stupid we were. We all immediately noticed how much physically weaker we were when we thought negatively about ourselves. And, although our thoughts don’t hold an actual physical weight, scientists say that negative thoughts ‘weigh’ on your brain in the same way that repeated movements tire your muscles. Negativity and worry have ‘energy costs’ that can tire out our neurons, that are the physical carriers of our thoughts. As a result, we feel a ‘heaviness’ because of the emotional drain on our brain and its neurons. Negative thinking and …

How to plant the right seeds in your mind

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“ As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 According to this powerful verse in Proverbs, the thoughts we think determine what kind of life we live. In every moment of life, your thoughts impact you for good or bad. And as we journey through life we will have many opportunities to change our way of thinking. The story of Gideon shows us the importance of right-thinking. He was living at a difficult time when the Midianites were invading Israel during harvest time and stealing their crops after the Israelis had spent hours harvesting them. We find Gideon hiding in the wine press threshing his grain. He was hoping the Midianites would not look there because grain and wine were harvested at different times. Then an angel showed up to talk with Gideon, and two words immediately stick out. The angel called Gideon a “mighty warrior” (Judges 6:12). Now it was obvious that Gideon did not think himself a mighty warrior because he was hiding from the Midianites. But those two …

What is your reflection?

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When I reflect upon the verse in the Bible that says God will draw all men to Himself, I ask how could people be drawn to God through me? What would draw them to Christ and His love and the gift of salvation and eternal life? The Pulpit Commentary says, when Jesus said God will draw men, (John 6:44), the Lord was talking about God’s work of grace that prepares the hearts of men to come to Christ, and people will see that work of grace on display in the believer’s life — you and me. People will be drawn to us by the power of the resurrection of Christ in us by the Holy Spirit. The word draw means to: Draw (def) -pull or drag to make it fall behind; to cause to move in a particular direction by or as if by a pulling force, to bring to tack to pull out of  Attract – like a magnet to iron, TO DRAW BY APPEAL. To pull or draw toward oneself In other words, …

Obeying the ‘do not enter’ signs

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I was talking with a friend at a Christmas party last year, and we both recognized our need for healthy boundaries and wished we had understood this principle sooner as we could have avoided some unpleasant experiences. Healthy boundaries are vital because they help keep us on track with the important things in our lives. We both agreed at times, we had given more attention to the needs of others than we did to our families and personal needs. And out of my friend’s mouth came the final answer that I needed to secure everything I had been learning about boundaries.  She said maybe this is what ‘entering the narrow gate’ means because the Bible talks about how easy it is to take the broad path and how hard or difficult it is to take the narrow path: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it.” Matthew 7: 12 -13 I sincerely believe the path to life is choosing …

Turning over the tables in your heart

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“You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 The Bible tells us that the truth will set us free and for some a radical transformation can take place, as they are instantaneously delivered from addictions and unhealthy lifestyles upon putting their faith in Christ. Then there is the rest of us, who for whatever reason, don’t see a similar thing happening. Sometimes this is because we haven’t fully faced up to the truth about ourselves. This verse suggests there may be unpleasant things that we need to find out about ourselves before we can change. Over the past five years, I have developed a checklist made up of three questions that I ask myself every so often to expose the truth: Am I playing the victim card? Am I blaming someone else for my failure? Do I need to forgive someone? Why do I ask myself these three questions? The reason is that I am the only one ultimately responsible for my well-being. I can’t change what other people …

Time to quit reliving the past

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The start of a New Year is usually a time we look ahead at things we want to achieve. This year is particularly significant because it is also the start of a new decade. But studies show that 92% of us fail to achieve our New Year’s resolutions, and I believe it is because we are going about it all wrong. In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul talks about an important key to achieving future goals in life: “I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13 First understand it is a process. Success won’t happen immediately. Paul was considered by many to be the greatest apostle of the early church, yet despite all he achieved, Paul said that he hadn’t fully attained everything God had for him. We are on a journey. There will be good days and …

Embrace your journey

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Sadly, for many years I believed that my purpose was tied into some far off destination that was going to drop into my lap someday. And, I stumbled over my wondering and worrying about what my purpose was and what my goals should be to help me accomplish whatever my purpose was. Even though I was married, had a family and worked part-time, I somehow excluded all this from being part of my purpose in life. Therefore discovering my purpose in life was on hold. It had to be on hold because I did not have the time nor energy to pursue anything else.  My hands were quite full. Then I made the fatal mistake of comparing myself to other women, who worked, had families and were in leadership roles in their community and accomplishing great things while successfully raising their kids and supporting their husbands. As former US President Teddy Roosevelt once quipped,  “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparing myself to these women caused me to stumble over what was right in front …