When dealing with anger, it seems that we often make it about the other person, the one who sparked our anger. We blame our anger on them and their actions or words, and rarely about our response and the way we handled the offence.
I read where one author treated his anger like a marker or a red flag, as he called it. Whenever he felt a reaction to an offence and recognized the anger that was rising from it, he literally visualized planting a red flag in the ground, staking out where his anger began.
From that moment, he would take personal responsibility for his anger and not make it about the other person, as he intentionally worked towards creating a response that would bring resolve and peace for himself.
Looking back at the red flag marker, he could see how far he had come from his initial response.
This has been an awesome visualization that I practice when I feel anger stirring in me. And, the goal, of course, is to move past the red flag that says ‘I am so angry’ and make your response about you and what is in your best interests in this situation.
When we make our anger about ‘us’ and not ‘them,’ we can take steps to move away from the red flag blowing wildly in the wind. We can take steps to calm our soul and bring peace to our lives.
And what steps would those be you may ask?
- We must forgive, so that we can move on (Matthew 6:14-15).
- Work on forgetting, and in time you will.
- Remind yourself often, that this is about you, your well-being and peace of mind (Philippians 4:7).
We are deeply loved by God, our Father, and our well-being is of utmost importance to him. When we honour our healing and emotional well-being, we are also loving God and reflecting His character and grace in an increasingly angry world.
“One who is slow to anger has great understanding. But one who is quick-tempered exalts foolishness.” (Proverbs 14:29)