When it comes to the choices we make, particularly as women, many of us don’t realize how our ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is often attached to people-pleasing.
As a woman, whose life was dominated for years by people-pleasing, I can tell you that it does not end well for anyone trying to gain the approval and attention of others, especially of those you feel hold more significance than you.
As women, we spend too much time worrying about what others think we should be doing, rather than focussing on what God wants us to do.
And it is time, we start checking in with ourselves before we say ‘yes’ or no’ to our involvement in the lives of others, even if their request is a good thing.
This requires us to be honest about what we are really feeling about the choices we are presented with.
Why are we doing this?
Are we doing it to gain another person’s approval?
Are we doing it out of guilt?
We need to start trusting our thoughts and feelings, as they are signs indicating the direction we should take.
I remind myself often that God has my best interests at heart in every situation and this includes where I direct my time and energy.
Checking in with ourselves and weighing the choices we are about to make, keeps us on track and on purpose with what is really important to us. It allows us to focus on the people we care about, our passions and interests, that are all a vital part of God’s purpose for our lives.
The real root to this problem is that women feel that others and their needs are more important than our own.
The ‘narrow path’ that Christ talks about involves the choices we make.
“Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the path which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matthew 7:14)
The wide path is made up of distractions and keeps us off our path and our purpose. The narrow path has many signs along the way that remind us to ‘not to go there’.
Making choices that are in my best interests is hard and is one of the most difficult things I have had to do.
When I spend too much time and energy on making others happy, resentment creeps in and eats away at my joy and sense of purpose.
And when resentment shows up, it serves as a major boundary sign that I have made the wrong choice, for the wrong reason.
As women, we can live on purpose every day, as we stay true to ourselves, knowing that God has our best interests at heart in every situation we face.