Author: Wayne Johnston

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Your Martha Meltdown Moment Part 2: Broken Glass

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This is my meltdown moment. In the 80s and early 90s I worked in the private security sector. My goal was to be hired with the city police, and I had taken a number of policing/security courses to that end. Being a cop was my dream, not God’s, or my wife’s. I did not hear God say “yes” or “no” to my dream, but He let me scratch my itch for a time. But in December 1990 everything changed. I was working as a loss prevention officer in a large department store. It was a busy Saturday two weeks before Christmas. I watched a tall male pick up a Nintendo unit, put it under his arm and walk out of the store into the attached mall. I started after him, he saw me coming, and dropped the game. I stepped over the Nintendo, still chasing him, and seeing me follow him, he ran full speed out of the back door of the mall. I was starting to catch up to him as he ran out …

Rusty car in Bodie, California Credit: Wolfgang Staudt/Flickr/Creative Commons

Your Martha Meltdown Moment Part 1: Rusty Dreams

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Trusting God at times can be a real challenge, especially when your dreams seem to have turned to rust.   We all go through dark times when we must verbalize two things: God is Lord, and He is good. I will trust Him even when I don’t understand and it seems too late – the rust is too far gone! Psalm 42:10 says, “My enemies reproach me, while they say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’” During these dark times the enemy loves to use people to taunt us, questioning, “If God really loves you He would not have allowed these things to happen. Where is God?” To answer, we can leave the Bible open to the book of Job. God is God, and He is good! If my dreams seem to have turned to rust, and I picture the word “rust”, and bring the cross into the picture, right at the beginning, we now have the word, “trust.” It’s always about trust. We walk by faith, full stop. Ask yourself, “Is this …

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La intersección

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English: The Intersection Hace unas semanas, en una reunión de oración semanal, tuve una palabra profética para un joven. Después de compartir la vision que había recibido con el, recorde que tenía que aplicarla a mi propia vida. Comencé a orar por la dirección de su vida e inmediatamente Dios me dio esta “película” – vision- para él. Lo vi en su vehículo parando en una señal de alto en una intersección donde tenía dos o tres opciones para su destino. ¿Qué dirección debería el tomar? Luego ví la decison que Dios quería que el tomara. Lo vi estacionarse al costado del camino, poner algunas canciones de alabanza y comenzar a adorar a Dios. Él debía hacer declaraciones sobre quién y qué es Dios: Él es el Señor, Él lo sabe todo y El es más grande que todas nuestras circunstancias. Él sabe lo que necesitamos y cómo llegar allí. Lo que pasó después no fue lo que esperaba. Cuando la alabanza  y las declaraciones subieron como vapor al cielo, entonces  comenzó a llover. Toda …

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The Intersection

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A few weeks ago at a weekly prayer meeting I had a prophetic word for a young man. After I shared the picture I had received with him, I knew I needed to remember it and apply it to my own life. I began to pray for direction for his life and immediately God gave me this “movie” for him. I saw him in his vehicle pulling up to a stop sign at an intersection where he had two or three options for his destiny. Which direction was he to take? Next I saw the action God wanted him to take. I saw him park at the side of the road, put on some worship tunes, and begin to worship God. He was to make declarations about who and what God is – He is Lord, He knows all, and is greater than all our circumstances. He knows what we need and how to get there. What happened next was not what I would have expected. As the worship and declarations went up like vapor …

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Being centered: A personal struggle to belong

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Joseph is one of my favorite Bible characters. After studying his life for the past year, I have developed a love/hate relationship with this Old Testament hero, both for the same reasons. He stood faithful in God, no matter what happened. No matter who lied or betrayed him, no matter how far down in the pit life pushed him, he kept serving and looking to God. He stayed centered on God when most of us would have given up on God and our dreams. But I want to look at one aspect of Joseph’s life that is often not discussed but is both encouraging and challenging. Most people agree that Joseph came from a very dysfunctional home: 9 older jealous brothers, 3 step-moms, and a doting father who was clued-out as to the effect that his favoritism was having on his family. After studying Joseph’s life, what I see is a loner. He was a loner but never alone. He was too Egyptian for his family and too Jewish for the Egyptians. At the end …

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Centered Like Clay

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One of the best definitions of intercession I have heard goes something like this: “Intercession is not about defeating the devil in a particular battle; it is about getting into the face of God, with the defeat of the devil as the by-product.” Reading the many accounts of Jesus’ ministry to desperate people reveals something wonderful about God’s character. It seems that the more irreverent and noisy, and the more into Jesus’ face and space someone was, the more Jesus liked it. He even went so far as to touch a leper before He had healed him. Yuck! (Mark 1:40-45) What a wonderful Lord we serve, who beckons society’s “lepers” to come to Him, and get into God’s face and be redeemed! My question is, how centered on God can you get? Centered Like Clay The term “centered” means different things to people of different backgrounds. From doctors setting bones to machinists working on a lathe, being centered and focused is critical to the success of any endeavor. I want to look at two Old …

Called to be a superhero with flaws?

My Prophetic Journey Part 15: The Last Word

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[This is part of a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] God desires an army of broken and weak supermen and women to change the world. In II Corinthians 12:7-10 we read about Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Verse 9 says, “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” In many ways – pedigree, education and position – Paul was a heavy-weight, a “superman” if you will. But it was Paul’s thorn, his weakness, that drove him closer to God. Being used by God in the prophetic, or in any gift, is not about our greatness, but His grace. Several years ago God gave me a disturbing vision of myself. He showed me a before and after picture of me as a vessel. The first picture was what looked like an empty tin can with a number of nails and nasty looking screws sticking into it from the outside. God told me, this was you. The next …

Michael the Arch Angel battling Satan by Luca Giordano (1632-1705): Wikipedia

My Prophetic Journey Part 14: The Angel and the demon

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[This is part of a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] As we journey in the prophetic, we are involved in the supernatural realm, and our perceptions can help or hinder us. Fear is something that can definitely hinder. Even as a young Christian I was oppressed with fear, including a fear of the devil.   Somewhere in my family’s past there was a very dark shadow.   As I got older I still had an unhealthy fear of the enemy. Several years ago my wife and I prayed for a friend who had a number of issues in her life. I got a vision while praying for her. I saw a demon sitting on top of a well. God revealed that she had a Christian inheritance in her family, but the enemy was doing all he could to keep her from accessing that godly well. I have only ever had one vision of a demon and this was it. This demon was a small stupid looking imp, and my …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 13: Prophetic props

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For several years I helped to teach introductory level classes dealing with the prophetic. These classes were divided into two parts – a teaching session, and a practical application. We often had people come who had little to no prophetic experience, who just felt they should be there. One of my greatest joys was seeing these people come alive in God, realizing that they could hear from God! When I attended Bible college our classes always had opportunity for budding preachers to practice preaching and teaching in a safe environment. Why should it not be the same for those stepping out in the prophetic? In teaching the introductory prophetic classes I enjoyed coming up with practical exercises using props. One of these props was an empty chair. I remember putting our prime minister’s name on a slip of paper, putting it into an envelope, and putting the envelope on the chair. The group gathered around the chair. They were told that the name of a real person was in the envelope, but weren’t told who …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 12: Using your keys

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[This is the twelfth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] Years ago I worked doing security in a large corporate hotel. When I came on duty I would sign out the large set of keys that I would carry with me during my shift. I had keys for every part of the hotel except the manager’s office. I had authority from the manager to open or close any door I needed to at any time I chose. With so many keys it took some time to learn which key fit into which locked door, especially in the dark. And, I needed to be sure to never lose the keys – guarding their safe keeping was a huge responsibility. My journey in God has been very much like being given spiritual keys and learning how to use them. In an emergency in the darkness you have to know which key fits which door in order to “save the day.” Over the years God has taught me kingdom …

Old well in France Credit: Jean Guillaume Coutard/Flickr

My Prophetic Journey Part 11: You Can’t Draw Water from an Empty Well

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[This is the eleventh in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] When I was first called to the prophetic ministry I remember the admonition to not only know the Word, but to live it, and have it as a great well to draw out living water to refresh others. In the past number of years, at the beginning of the year I often have gotten “marching orders” for that year for an area to study, a book of the Bible, like Amos, or a person’s life, like Joseph. As examples, here are a few of the lessons that I learned from these studies. Amos was a farmer, and spoke the language of a farmer. God used his rural background to speak repentance to the northern capital of Bethel. God does not always send us to our “own” people. The book of Isaiah is almost like the whole Bible in one book. Isaiah is in some ways the opposite of Amos – he was an educated blue-blooded prophet …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 10: Prophetic Protocol

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[This is the tenth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] The title of this next article in this series could be, “The Means Must Justify the Ends,” or, sometimes it is more important how you do something than just getting it done. One pitfall in the prophetic is when those who are idealistic or insecure look with criticism on a person or group who does not respond to the word they give in the way they think they should (“if they don’t do as I say, they are rejecting God’s word”). Fortunately, a prophet’s pride is no match for God’s grace. Another situation that can challenge our attitude and response is when you feel you have a hot word from God, but are not given a platform to share it. Moses is a great example of what our attitude and response should be. He was a deliverer, Law giver, and also prophet, and Numbers 12:3 says, “(Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all …

Stave Church in Scandinavian Heritage Park, Minot, North Dakota. Credit: Bobak Ha'Eri

My Prophetic Journey Part 9: How to minister in North Dakota and not even be there!

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[This is the ninth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] Years ago, while a member of a senior prophetic team in a large church, I ran into a continual problem. The team would be invited to minister out-of-town on weekends, and I rarely could go. I ran a small retail business, and it was almost impossible to get Saturdays off, even for God’s work! It drove me crazy. It came to a head one time when our team was invited to minister at a church in Minot, North Dakota. I really, really wanted to go, but my boss said no, and I decided I would spend the weekend in a major pity party. A few days before the trip our team leader had a planning/prayer meeting regarding the weekend. She came to me, expressing how badly she felt that I was unable to go. She shared that she felt under attack from the enemy, and knowing how I felt, asked if I could keep her in …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 8: The Challenge of the Roller Coaster

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[This is the eighth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] In the last few articles in this series we looked at four lessons God taught me in my journey in the prophetic. This one is also an unavoidable lesson. Lesson 5 – The Challenge of the Roller Coaster At times having a prophetic gift can be like living on a roller coaster. When your word hits the mark and saves the day, you’re a super hero – on top of the world! But when you get it wrong or it’s a challenging word that just gets strange stares, and the worship leader is encouraged to sing something, anything – then what? The roller coaster descends full speed to the bottom! But you are not alone, and there is hope! I have heard from a number of prophets that God often chooses the weak to show His strength, and that many who are called to the prophetic struggle with insecurity. His plan is to change us, to …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 7: Learning the Radar

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[This is the seventh in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] As described in the previous article, God continues to teach us as we move into the deep end.   He stretches us, and is always faithful to give us what we need. Lesson 4 – Learning the Radar At times I have gotten a vague word just walking into a situation. I learned the hard way that not every prophetic impression was to be shared publicly. Sometimes it was a matter of being within radar range – that many who are within radar range will be hearing the same thing. On these occasions, if God’s Spirit is saying, “John 3:16,” before a meeting even starts, then “all who have an ear to hear” will pick up on that. If someone speaks that verse out, it may be the role of another who sensed the same thing to affirm it with an “Amen!” or to affirm it with that person to encourage them. As I have shared before, …

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My Prophetic Journey Part 6: Confirmation

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[This is the sixth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] In the last article on learning in the prophetic, I discussed the importance of timing. This is the next lesson the Lord made real to me. Lesson 4 – Confirmation Whenever you book a flight, a car rental, a hotel, or order a major appliance, it’s normal to get a confirmation number. When the person at the desk confirms your number, then you know that your booking or purchase is as good as in your hand – it’s done. It seems that it’s harder to trust our Heavenly Father to confirm what He’s given us than it is to trust someone we don’t know behind a desk! How many times have I missed God’s timing because I have wanted seventy times seven confirmations! It seems common to a lot of people being used in the prophetic that there is a definite learning curve in this. In my previous post, I described the pounding heart, dry mouth, …

Prophet Ezekiel on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo (1476-1564) Credit: Wikipedia

My Prophetic Journey Part 5: When to share or not to share

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[This is the fifth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] In previous installments of My Prophetic Journey I recounted how God answered my prayer to teach me lessons in the prophetic, starting with the first two lessons. The learning continues! Lesson 3 – When to share or not to share Even on a lighter note, timing is no joke – ask a comedian! But, seriously – timing is vital. When I first started to prophesy, God would give me a verse or short word at the beginning of a meeting. My blood pressure would go up, my heart would go into warp drive and I felt that if I did not share this word right now I would die. I’m sure many can relate. I had to learn patience! One time in particular God gave me a clear word, but I didn’t feel free to share it for several months. I felt like I was pregnant with a word and could not deliver it. Finally I …

The Prophet Elijah in the wilderness being fed by crows after fleeing Jezebel by Washington Allston (1779 - 1845) Credit: Wikipedia

My Prophetic Journey Part 4: Motives

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[This is the fourth in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] In my previous article, I shared how God showed me that His love should be the foundation for my life and ministry, as “Lesson 1.” As I continued to look to Him for His lessons in the prophetic, the lessons impacting my life just kept getting better. When we leave it up to God to decide what we need to learn, it will be bound to be not what we want, but just what we need. Lesson 2 My next lesson was all about my motives. It started with me asking God for the next lesson, so I could prophesy better, and for an answer I got silence – nothing! I said to God, “Here I am,” and for quite some time I did not hear from God – not one word for anyone. It was embarrassing – it seemed everyone and their cousin’s dog were prophesying, but not me. I started to worry about what …

Off to prophetic school Credit: Michael Fawcett/Flickr/Creative Commons

My Prophetic Journey Part 3: School Starts

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[This is the third in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] Having wrestled with God’s call, and worked through some things involving God’s grace and work in my life as discussed in my last article, I was finally on board with God’s call into the prophetic. I read all the books and study notes that I could, and attended seminars on the prophetic. One day, either in a stroke of rare brilliance, or naivety, I came up with a plan. I bought myself a large hardcover blank notebook and said to God, Why don’t You teach me some prophetic lessons? A by-product of that would be learning to hear from God more, so that sounded great to me. God answered that prayer, and I began to fill the book with some tough lessons – be careful what you ask for! For a period of time God would deal with one thing (usually involving character and attitudes), and then would let that lesson become part of me. After …

Wayne's redemption box

My Prophetic Journey Part 2: The Redemption Box

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[This is the second in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] After discussing “The Call” in Part 1, I must mention the story of the redemption box, because the story of this journey would not be complete without it. Often in Scripture God teaches us deep spiritual lessons about His kingdom by comparing them to natural mundane things around us, as in Jesus’ parables. Another example would be when Moses stood before the burning bush, and God asked him, “What is that in your hand?” and used the shepherd’s staff to show Moses His power. One day God spoke to me and asked me, “What’s that box in your hand?” As a metal artist I love spending time in junkyards, looking for scrap metal to turn into art. I seem to have a particular penchant for old metal boxes, for no other reason than the challenge of restoring them and making them useful again. One day at one of my favorite junkyards I saw a future treasure, …

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My Prophetic Journey: The Call

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[This is the first in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.] I would like to share the story of my call and journey in the prophetic ministry. This is not a teaching on the Five W’s of the prophetic ministry (whatever that would be) – this is a very personal journey of God healing brokenness, not so I could prophesy, but so I could walk whole in Him! I grew up with very low self-esteem, thinking I was stupid, school was a nightmare, and I never seemed to fit anywhere. I remember as an 11 or 12-year old contemplating killing myself because I hated everything about myself – I was damaged goods and I just wanted the pain to stop. I was extremely shy and afraid to stand in front of anyone for any reason. As a young believer there was a person in my life who had a “prophetic ministry.” I watched this person “minister” out of their unresolved issues. Their ministry was dark and almost …

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All Shook Up!

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We have a nice apple tree in our front yard, and I just love apple crisp during the cold months. But, if you want nice apples, you have to do some work. When my wife and I moved to our present home we were thrilled that we had an apple tree, but what it produced were tons of small “crabapples.” We were told that at one time the tree had produced larger apples, and a friendly expert told us that as soon as the apples started to grow, to remove many of them and what remained would be larger apples. The other day I was doing my apple thinning, but even after using my six-foot ladder I could not reach the high branches. I had a great idea. It seemed to me that there were a number of really small apples with weak stems, barely attached to the branches, that would easily fall off if I reached up and gave the high branches a good shake. That’s when God spoke to me about John 15:1-11. …

Do everything to the glory of God. Photo: Welder/Sorenslim/Flickr/Creative Commons

Secular or Sacred?

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If I were to ask average believers what percent of their day would fall under the heading of secular activities vs. sacred, would the answer be 50/50, or 60/40, or even 80/20? If you were a full time pastor, we might expect your sacred time would be higher that if you were, say, a welder. Christian musicians sometimes comment that on Sundays they play sacred music, but on Friday and Saturday they play secular. Although we all understand what they mean, I believe that this division is arbitrary and non-biblical. This topic was brought to my attention while I was reading a book called Know The Truth by Bruce Milne. The author was discussing the modern friction between the natural and the supernatural. I was surprised to learn that the Hebrew vocabulary and thinking from the Old Testament has no equivalent for our word “nature” or “natural”. God is responsible for all; the “natural” world was created by the spiritual. The Old Testament followers saw rain from clouds and water from a rock as both …

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Pure Religion?

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Even a cultural neophyte can spot major world religions by their outward forms, ceremonies and liturgies. A group of Buddhist monks in yellow robes and shaved heads or a yogi with a long beard sitting cross-legged on a cushion while meditating are easily identifiable. Even within the Christian faith one can easily spot the difference between Roman Catholics and Protestants. The style of cross used will indicate whether it is Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox. So what’s my point? First, as a disclaimer, I am not making a judgment on any particular religion, the point I am making is that the world’s main religions are easily identifiable by their external forms and ceremonies. Within Christianity this is also true, whether Catholic or Protestant. But as followers of Christ, what should our public liturgy and forms look like? Should they be similar to any other world religion? Is it the shape of our cross or our robes that are important?  Old hymns, no hymns, or rock and roll for Jesus – does it matter that much? …

The traditional site on the Jordan River where John the Baptist baptized Jesus. Photo: Jan Smith/Flickr

The Key is the Word and the Word was the Key

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“Now when all the people were baptized, it came to pass that Jesus also was baptized; and while He prayed, the heaven was opened. And the Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him, and a voice came from heaven which said, “You are my beloved Son; in You I am well pleased.” (Luke 3:21-22 NKJV) Insomnia is never fun. Not long ago on a Wednesday night after struggling to fall asleep, I woke up again after two or three hours. As well as being frustrated with the pressure of having to work the next day on little sleep, the demonic darts started pushing all the wrong buttons (“You’re too old,” “God is finished with you,” “people have forgotten about you,” “you’re nothing,” etc.) I felt like I was being flushed down a large black toilet. A black demonic cloud was descending over my mind. Then I heard a still small voice: “the baptism of Jesus”. This phrase may not send the demonic hordes running in everyone’s life, but it did for …

Rembrandt and Me

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[by Wayne Johnston] Passover (Easter to some) is almost upon us again, and it’s time to reflect on God’s great gift for all of Adam’s lost children, Jew and Gentile alike. Old Testament prophecies and New Testament accounts of Christ’s death and atonement on the cross show very clearly who is to blame. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:23-24) All of us – rich, poor, Jew, Gentile, even Rembrandt, and me – we are all the cause of why “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son” (John 3:16). We are all guilty of putting Him on the cross so that we can all share in God’s redemption through it and be at peace with God. But how does Rembrandt fit into this?

Mary and Me

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[by Wayne Johnston] Now that Christmas is behind us for this year, I would like to write about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Lots has been written over the years of her great attributes, her holiness and purity of spirit; many songs have been written, paintings painted, and her statues fill churches all over the world, signaling her out as the “highly favoured one” of God (Luke 1:28). Can you imagine how you would feel if God sent Gabriel to you one night to announce that in God’s eyes you are a “highly favoured one”? Would you look for your statues in churches alongside Mary’s?

The Closer You Get The Bigger It Is

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[by Wayne Johnston] While standing on top of Castle Butte in the Badlands of southern Saskatchewan with a few friends, we noticed a small group of boulders in the middle of the next valley. We set off to explore them, and after a long walk, we were surprised to find a large group of massive odd-shaped boulders. Our small group all seemed to feel the same – “these rocks sure didn’t look that big from the top of that 200-foot butte”. The closer you get, the bigger it is! Sometimes it’s like that with God – the closer I get to Him, the bigger He is. Theologically I know God is spirit and that He is all powerful and all present. The problem is not with God, however, it’s our perception of Him.

Redemption Box

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Often in Scripture, God teaches us deep spiritual lessons about His kingdom by comparing them to the natural world, sometimes even to the mundane things around us. When Jesus wanted to teach about His kingdom, He talked about lost money, lost sheep, farming, fishing, things that the common person could relate to.  Even the Old Testament has such examples of God using common things to teach and extend His kingdom.  An example of this is found in Exodus 4:2, where God uses the rod in Moses’ hand to show His power and be a confirmation of who He was. Some time ago I experienced such a thing and I want to encourage others by what God revealed to me, saying, “What is that in your hand?”

Shouldering Government?

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Our age of instant data, micro-dinners and quick fixes too often carries over into our efforts to understand God’s Word, the Bible.  Now, I’ve been guilty of this as well; you don’t understand a verse, so, a quick Hebrew or Greek definition that suits your purpose and presto! – the heavens open, angels sing, and you are now armed with all knowledge and wisdom? No? Sometimes the Hebrew word for “pot” means “pot”, and the Greek word for “hungry” may just mean “hungry”.  What then? Well, you may have to dig a little deeper, spend a little more time (in the Greek “cronos”) and get into the background of a passage.  Bridging the cultural, historical, and geographical gap from our world to that of the Bible passage can produce a rich, vast landscape of texture and color to a seemingly puzzling passage. 

The telltale signs of a friend

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“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”  Proverbs 27:6 (NKJ) One of my own sayings that I often use is, “I’d rather be hurt by the truth than follow a pleasant lie.”  To me this is essential for surviving in the Kingdom; it should be a no-brainer.  Those who call themselves believers are often referred to as seekers of truth, those who follow the light. If I’m walking in an area of darkness and a brother or sister turns on the light for me, I want to thank them for their faithfulness – as soon as my eyes stop hurting, that is! I’m all for encouraging others – we all need encouragement – but never let that stop us from speaking the truth in love.  Sometimes the truth hurts, but that’s okay; that’s what fellowship is supposed to be about. 

A small footnote on grace

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In my vast experience as a human being, I’ve noticed what appears to be a universal problem.  This humanistic tendency cuts across all economic lines, cultural barriers, age, and societies’ sub-cultures.  Have I piqued your interest? This is the problem: we all try to justify ourselves by comparing our good and bad qualities with others in our peer group. 

James’ Ossuary, Deer, and Being a Witness to Our Families

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These three things may seem like totally unrelated subjects, but let me try to connect them.  Over the last few months I’ve talked to many Christian friends who are deeply grieved over family members, especially adult children who have turned from God and seemingly are on a self-destructive one-way journey out of God’s kingdom. I have seen the deep pain and self-blaming in the lives of good people grieving over kids gone wrong.  Let me start by stating the obvious – you can’t make someone do something that they do not want to do.  God created us with a free will. Our children may have all kinds of reasons or excuses for being mad at mom and dad and God, but the real reason is a heart one.  Arguing with them often results in angry words and a slammed door.  This scenario plays out in too many homes.  So, what is to be done?