[This is the first in a series of articles on the ministry of the prophet and gift of prophecy.]
I would like to share the story of my call and journey in the prophetic ministry. This is not a teaching on the Five W’s of the prophetic ministry (whatever that would be) – this is a very personal journey of God healing brokenness, not so I could prophesy, but so I could walk whole in Him!
I grew up with very low self-esteem, thinking I was stupid, school was a nightmare, and I never seemed to fit anywhere. I remember as an 11 or 12-year old contemplating killing myself because I hated everything about myself – I was damaged goods and I just wanted the pain to stop. I was extremely shy and afraid to stand in front of anyone for any reason.
As a young believer there was a person in my life who had a “prophetic ministry.” I watched this person “minister” out of their unresolved issues. Their ministry was dark and almost always very negative and destructive.
I watched the person destroy good people, even those in ministry. I was never going to go anywhere near the prophetic ministry – it was not for me!
In Genesis 32 we have the account of Jacob wrestling with an angel; I can relate!
When God started to speak to me about prophesying, the fight was on. God presented the gift, and I said No! Why would I ever want that gift with my insecurities and the unhealthy example of it I had witnessed in my early life?
I felt God’s strong hand continue to wrestle with my stubborn heart. When I asked Him, “Why me?” God answered, “because you already know how not to prophesy!” All I needed to do was focus on the positive.
There is a clarification here – generally a prophetic word that is only negative should either be rejected or at least put on the shelf for consideration.
But, there can also be the problem of a person only prophesying what is expected of them, as in I Kings 22. In this passage, the king of Israel gathered false prophets around him who told him only what he wanted to hear.
Then, in verse 14 of this chapter the prophet Micaiah said, “As the Lord lives, whatever the Lord say to me, that I will speak.” We do need to faithfully deliver whatever mail God gives us to deliver.
But, back to God’s call.
I thought that since I already knew about avoiding the negative dark side, I must be well on my way in learning to prophesy. And, God had been doing such a deep work of healing in my life, and freeing me from my past hurts I just had to say yes. I stopped fighting with God, and made a deal with Him.
(I know we aren’t supposed to make deals with God, but….)
My condition — I told God, was that I would only prophesy if at the end of the word it would draw the person’s heart closer to His heart. I was not interested in the demolition business, but in the building up business.
I call it the “Prophetic Triangle.” God is at the top of the triangle, and His heart flows through my heart with a redemptive word, which flows to the receiver’s heart, which draws their heart closer to His heart.
Before I end this section, I want to make reference to the public call to ministry. We do not serve God in isolation. If we minister in public, we must be called in public. I knew God was calling me to a prophetic ministry, but having recognized prophets lay hands on me and affirm the call was important and strength-building, especially during times of testing.
It is amazing how, when we wrestle with God, like Jacob, and He touches us with His finger, it changes our walk. Bring it on, Lord!
More in this series:
- My Prophetic Journey: The Call
- My Prophetic Journey Part 2: The Redemption Box
- My Prophetic Journey Part 3: School Starts
- My Prophetic Journey Part 4: Motives
- My Prophetic Journey Part 5: When to share or not to share
- My Prophetic Journey Part 6: Confirmation
- My Prophetic Journey Part 7: Learning the Radar
- My Prophetic Journey Part 8: The Challenge of the Roller Coaster
- My Prophetic Journey Part 9: How to minister in North Dakota and not even be there!
- My Prophetic Journey Part 10: Prophetic Protocol
- My Prophetic Journey Part 11: You Can’t Draw Water from an Empty Well
- My Prophetic Journey Part 12: Using your keys
- My Prophetic Journey Part 13: Prophetic Props
- My Prophetic Journey Part 14: The Angel and the demon
- My Prophetic Journey Part 15: The Last Word