I have always struggled with being judgmental. I know I should not judge and understand “as you judge others so shall you be judged,” yet, at times I find myself being critical of others and often for no real reason.
I needed to find a way not to judge people. Clearly, simply deciding not to judge wasn’t working. I needed something, a word, that would change my perception of people and my instinct to judge.
The word “honor” began to present itself. As I took a closer look at “honor,” I knew this was a word that could deliver me from my judgmental attitude and help change my perception of people.
The Apostle Paul said:
“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10)
An acquaintance recently shared her experience as a foster parent. Megan and her husband Justin decided to become foster parents three years ago. They determined to build a relationship with the parents of their foster kids as they had opportunity.
Megan knew why the young child was in their care. Although she couldn’t share any of the circumstances, she described them as unsettling and hard to accept.
The question in her mind was “how not to villainize and monsterize this woman when I know her treatment of her child?”
She prayed, “Lord, give me eyes of honor.”
Megan set an intention to view the birth mom through “eyes of honor” as if she was a good person and good mother because God called her to be a good mother. When she took the child for scheduled visits with the birth mom, Megan treated her with respect.
Then one Mother’s Day, Megan received a card from the birth mom. In it she wrote, “I was expecting to hate you, but you didn’t judge me.”
Megan’s intention to change her perception of the birth mother made all the difference. She chose to change her glasses and view the birth mom through the eyes of God.
Jesus only saw the mother’s abilities not her disabilities. Her present behavior did not change the value Jesus placed on her life or His perception of her.
I love Megan’s conclusion:
“We call people to something higher when we see them through ‘eyes of honor.’ We are being challenged to be purposeful in our response to people.”
Walking in honor is to see each person’s “abilities and not their disabilities. ” We need to change our glasses (if that helps) and change our perception of others even the ones we find difficult to love or don’t agree with.
In his article, Coming back to the standard of honor, Jerry Clark says:
“So first, we humble ourselves, then give honor and respect to even those who might appear unworthy of honor and respect.”
We write people off, but Jesus sees them the way God sees them through”eyes of honor,” as having value.
“Honor all men – Respect every man as a fellow-creature, and as one who may be a fellow heir with you of eternal life and therefore be ready to give them assistance and support in times of distress or hardship” (Romans 13:7)
We should make it our aim to honor everyone all the time, even non Christians, treating them as one who someday may share eternal life with us.
Great post and great example of how honoring people no matter who they are makes all the difference.
Thank you! Yes, grateful my eyes are being opened to this. Blessings! — Barb
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