I’m only sixty percent bananas!
Woohoo! And my family said I was one hundred percent bonkers!
Actually, I am a bit more than sixty percent but I’ll take it. Especially since I am more bananas than chicken. I guess a crazy person who isn’t chicken is pretty scary, so I better explain this one.
A friend of mine ordered one of those DNA tests to find out about her roots and what wonderful diseases to which she can look forward when she gets old. Apparently, she will be a healthy old broad.
Then I remembered some old science that claimed we had something like ninety-six percent similar DNA to a chimpanzee. Of course, the evolutionists thought this was great since it proved we came from apes which came from some other animal, etc until you got to pond scum. So the bottom line is we are all evolved pond scum.
Except I don’t want to be pond scum!
I looked at the similarities between the DNA of humans and other things like chimps and bananas. The interesting thing is that our DNA is ninety-nine point nine percent similar to everybody else on earth. Think about that next time you lose your temper in traffic or get mad at someone else. Basically, if you punch that person, you’re ninety-nine percent punching yourself. So the next time you get angry, cut out the middle man and just punch yourself!
Okay, no hitting! I speak in jest about that.
Of course, there is different science to explain what DNA markers go where and what they do, and I’ll leave those details to the people who know about that sort of thing.
Here is what I do know. The similarities of DNA between chimpanzees and humans do not prove cross-species evolution, any more than the similarities between a banana and a chicken prove chicken came from bananas. Wait, or did the banana come from the chicken? Oh man, which came first, the chicken or the banana?
According to Genesis, the first book of the Bible, the banana came first. God created plants and trees and all that on the third day, and the birds and stuff like that on the fifth day. By the way, we weren’t created until the sixth day. I want to say he saved the best for last, but then he did rest after making us, so that might say something about humans.
So God created everything. And he did a fascinating job didn’t he?
Bet you think all bananas are the same, right? According to PBS News Hour, which may or not stand for the Public Banana Service, there are over one thousand types of bananas. Okay, seeing how I mentioned God, I have to tell the truth that PBS is the Public Broadcasting Service and they know things.
Why on earth would God create so many different bananas? Alas, the poor chicken only has just over seventy breeds according to, and I am not making this up, mypetchicken.com. That is a lot of chicken stew!
I think God created so many types of one thing because he could and because he wanted us to see his handiwork.
So there is God at the beginning of creation. And he starts making things; millions of things. How did he do this? I don’t know for sure. But he may just have created DNA first. Maybe God used it as a base, like a recipe if you will. It makes sense that everything in his creation would have his stamp of creativity in it. That stamp is DNA.
That DNA is so similar between humans and animals like chimpanzees or food like bananas is not surprising when you think we were all made by the same God using the same base recipe.
DNA doesn’t prove evolution, it refutes it. So don’t let those brilliant science minds throw you off the track with their bizarre theories about where we came from and who we really are. First, we are all creations of God. Second, these science guys are ninety-nine point nine percent the same as me. I know me, so I can’t be that hard on them. After all, it isn’t easy being me whether I am sixty percent bananas or sixty percent chicken.