Do you remember COVID? I don’t hear much talk about that subject now, but months ago it was always in the news, and sometimes it was all the news.

We have a culture of critical current topics that come and go, and we have new topics that own the microphone, for a while. We have a fading topic: Israel and the Palestinians in Gaza; the war in Ukraine and Russia, Climate Change, conservative–liberal or right-wing – left-wing politics, and gender issues. You could add to the list …

The pattern is consistent. With our Internet news media, it’s as if someone dropped a microphone, and someone else grabbed it. The people who own our attention, for a short time, are always loud, and correct in their own minds. People who argue with the newly received orthodoxy are quickly labeled as evil, and punished.

The loud voice is always true, and then it is forgotten and a new issue emerges.

One important question to ask is “how” more than “what.” How do they speak to you, besides what they say? In our modern culture, we can be baited into arguments, and then labeled as someone wrong.

If you have a social justice cause, and you want public attention, you only have a short time with the Internet microphone. Possibly you will attract a huge audience of enthusiastic supporters, but probably not. That is the gold standard, and we might have to settle for silver.

The silver standard is; to attract enemies. Attract a crowd of people who talk about your ideas because they disagree. There is an old saying: “Say anything you want about me, but please say something.”

Here’s an example: I met a man recently, and we had a friendly conversation. He was a cheerful man, who worked hard when he could be retired. In the conversation, he mentioned his wife, and I heard sadness in his voice. He said something like, “A few years ago she decided that she didn’t want to be married to me.”

That sounds like a sad retirement, but he seems to have a successful life now, and he didn’t seem obsessed with his marriage problems.

This reminded me of a couple that I knew about, a few years ago. They seemed nice, but the man was suspicious about his wife’s morals. He confronted her, and she admitted that she was having an affair. She said something like, “But [husband], don’t you understand? [The other man] is a doctor!“

I have removed the names, but that really happened.

Of course, the marriage ended in divorce, and the wife lived with the doctor until the divorce was finalized. Then, the new couple were supposed to get married, and live a happy life together.

What really happened was that the doctor moved his medical practice to another city, and left the woman. She also moved to another city, very far away. Her ex-husband seemed to forgive her, and he got busy putting his own life back together. He seems to be like the other man I mentioned, busy living his life. There was no loud screaming argument involving him.

There is something very powerful about forgiving and moving on. One thing that is missing, when we forgive, is arguing and fighting. For those men, there is now no “He said – she said.” We only have, “She said.” Forgiving their ex-wives reduced public interest by one half, and most people moved on to other things.

Forgiving rejects the bait to start a huge fight, and destroys arguments. We don’t have to agree with the other side, but we are told to forgive.

Baiting and drawing a person into an argument, and then getting attention through the strife, is a big part of our modern culture. Most social justice causes use that tactic.

I hope my divorce stories make the point. They came to mind as I was writing this. Those men did not agree with the other side, I think they wanted to love their wives, but they stayed away from an emotional fight, and they won.

We have a strategy that works better than the wisdom of this world:

“Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” x

(Romans 14: 16 to 21)

This lesson is never easy to learn: