My husband had just taken three days off work so we could paint our family room. We accomplished a lot the first two days and by the third day had the job done.
So I thought, now let’s go out for coffee and do a little Christmas shopping.
I knew that in the long-term we would both be better off by letting him have some time to himself. So, I caught myself before I put on a little performance and a few sighs, to let him know I really wanted him to go out with me.
I released him from the expectation of joining me that afternoon. I knew he needed a break.
Lately, I have been purposely releasing myself, family and friends from unnecessary and sometimes unrealistic expectations. It has, in the long run, created better communication and released tension in my relationships.
But, recently, I started feeling out of sorts. I was angry most of the time. It didn’t seem to matter what anyone said or did, it still elicited an angry response from me. I tried hard not to show it.
I realized the constant flipping of my emotional switch (turning on and off my unnecessary and sometimes unrealistic expectations) had stirred me emotionally. It led me to further soul-searching.
Was I holding on to an offense? Did I need to forgive someone or myself? Was I feeling rejection from a bad memory or recent situation? Were world events impacting me a little too much?
Despite events that rattle and shake our world — bad memories, mis-treatment and personal battles (rejection, unforgiveness, offense etc.) — we must make up our mind every morning and decide how we will respond to daily events and most certainly the people attached to them.
To win in everyday life, a positive and strong mindset is vital. According to dictionary.com, a mindset is:
“A fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations. An inclination or a habit.”
A right mindset is an intention or plan we adhere to every single day. We decide (pre-determine) in the morning what our attitude and response will be when we feel let down or disappointed by our ourselves and/or others.
Beware, our old nature will fight the change (process) and and cause resistance as we press on to taking the higher ground in our everyday struggles.
There will be frustration and friction as we shift and change our thinking from the old ways to new life-giving patterns of thought.
I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit is always there to help us.
“So then, brethren, we are debtors , but not to the flesh (we are not obligated to our carnal nature), to live (a life ruled by the standards and set up by the dictates) of the flesh. For if you live by the dictates of the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit you are habitually putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the evil deeds prompted by the body, you shall (really and genuinely) live forever. (Romans 8:5-12 AMP)
A right mindset enables us to reach our highest potential in every situation — good or bad.
With the daily practice of pre-setting our intentions, we will not be derailed by life’s surprises. This will gradually become easier to do as new pathways of thought are built up in our minds.
I set a clear intention each and every day to be kind and patient with myself, extra kind and gracious to my family members and very patient with the people I rub shoulders with everyday.
World events, people, family and friends will get on our nerves. Still, they deserve our respect, whether we agree with them or not, and even if they have touched a sensitive area in our life.
Daily setting our intention(s) will change our world and that of the people around us as well — one step at a time, one day at a time and one person at a time.