Emotional health, Main, Women, z26
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Grief and time


Photo: other think/Flickr/Creative Commons

Grief is not forever. Photo: other think/Flickr/Creative Commons

I stood at the counter and watched as the cashier carefully wrapped my Willow Tree ornaments. I had purchased four of these ornaments for each of my immediate family.

The statue is called “brothers.” The younger  brother is on the ground looking up at the standing older brother who is looking down.

It was the first Christmas in my grief. Losing my oldest boy a year earlier made the holiday painful.

The clerk looked at me as she wrapped the ornaments.  She asked me if these were for someone who lost a loved one.

I said, yes, I lost my son.

“Well,” she stated, “if this is your first year, the second year is just as painful.”

“However, the third year is a little better.” she added, “and then by five years you will find it so much better.”

Wow! A complete stranger had just made my world open to a possible future I could hope for.

What a gift!

In grief sharing with others who have lost a loved one, I have mentioned this to them and most will say that those number of years are quite factual.

Things change after three and five years. Time puts pain into a better perspective.  It’s not so in your face.

This scripture is perfect.

“It may seem like your sorrow will last forever – then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness. I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” (Jeremiah  31:13)

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