[by Laura Fauchon] For many years I struggled to understand God’s love.
The unsettling events of my life (sexual and physical abuse ) often kept me awake at night. I would cry myself to sleep asking God to help me and take the pain away.
How could a loving God be so absent and seemingly distant during these times?
Although I grew up being taught that God loved me and died on the cross for my sins and that He heard my prayers, I felt He did not care.
I would struggle with being told God is a very present help in times of trouble. If this was true, then where was He?
A wise and godly woman years ago helped me on my journey to healing. It was through her mentoring and fellowship that I began to heal from the hurt and pain I endured.
Coming to the realization that this abuse was not my fault was a stepping stone to my healing. Then, by the grace of God, I was able to forgive my abusers and move forward with my life.
As I surrendered my woundedness and control of my life over to God, I began to experience emotional healing and became more consciously aware of God’s love in my life.
One beautiful day this past summer I was relishing a day on the farm. As I sat meditating on God’s love an object caught my eye as it fell to the ground.
A flower petal, shaped like a heart, strategically fell by my feet. I could only gasp at God’s creative and intimate expression of His love for me (see above).
God wanted to remind me that He loved me that day.
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in them.” (1 John 4:16 NIV)
Entering my fifties, I can truly say God has used the mess of my past to bring healing and hope to woman and children who have endured the same abuses as I have.
As I continue to meditate on God’s word and fellowship with like-minded believers, He reveals His love for me in ways that astound me!