Emotional health, Main, Women
Comment 1

My biggest struggle


My greatest struggle over the years has been never feeling quite ‘good enough’ for anything, sports, art classes or trying out for the school musical. I suspect there are a few faces that cross your mind when I talk about women we have compared ourselves to over the years.

Even as I talk about this subject, names and images of girls I compared my self over the years are popping up in my mind.

I was never good enough to be included in the popular circle of girls who had it all together.  Where their looks landed a leading role in every musical, made every basketball team, and also attracted the most popular girls and guys to their social circles.

My main nemesis was Susie who had different names over the years, but she was always there and I always compared myself to her no matter how often her face changed.

Picture yourself caught in a mousetrap, and you are that mouse struggling to get out of the trap.

This image gives us a clear image of what we do to ourselves when we get caught in the comparison trap.

Comparing ourselves to others, their gifts, looks and social life, triggers a deep-rooted shame that justifies what we always thought about ourselves. 

  • I don’t measure up.
  • I can’t sing.
  • I’m always the last chosen in sports.
  • I will never be popular.  

As these thoughts and lies that you are a failure loop through your mind, you will begin to act walk and talk the way you feel about yourself. 

We struggle because shame has enticed us into the trap of comparison where many of us struggle with feelings of insignificant. The Bible says that we should only compare ourselves with ourselves. With God’s help are we improving, changing and growing. That is the only comparison that is important.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.

Galatians 6:4 ETR

We need to realize what is going on here, and know that we can free ourselves from the lies that have snared us and kept us small and powerless.  

Our feelings of insignificance, and false perceptions of ourselves are tied  to past experiences. Sure we may have failed at some things, but that does not make us a failure. But as we internalize these past experiences, it feeds that shame and weakens not only our mind but our bodies as well.

What we think and believe about ourselves has nothing to do with our past mistakes and the rejection that formed wrong beliefs of ourselves.

But there is good news in all of this. If these negative thoughts can change our minds and propel us into unbelief, hopelessness and depression, imagine what changing our thoughts to strong, positive statements will do for us.

Our worthiness is not tied to our mistakes or people’s opinions of us. We have the key to spring us out of the trap of comparison and our feelings of never measuring up to anyone or anything.

If you know Jesus, then you have a power that can set you free, release and spring you free from these thoughts. 

Because it all starts with Jesus, the son of God, who reflects God to us in this world.

Christ took our shame, and guilt upon himself on the cross so that we no longer have to feel shame, or guilt about anything. 

When we believe in Jesus, the Bible says we become a child of God (1 John 3:2). We are God’s child. But you need to believe I AM the child of a King. The Bible also says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds, literally changing the way we think (Romans 12:2).

We are changed as we embrace who we are in Christ:

I am worthy. I am enough.

I have a purpose.  

I am not defined by my mistakes, failures and shortcomings.  I am defined by what God says about me. Jesus took away my guilt and shame. 

I will make mistakes, I will fail, but I will use these mistakes and failures to grow. 

I will forgive myself and others on my journey.  Every day is a new day and a fresh start.

I will no longer live in the past. I am setting myself free today from my past and springing into today, now. Today is a new day and I embrace who Jesus says I am.

I am enough.

I am worthy of love.

I am strong and courageous.

I am unique.

I am a child of God.

I am creative.

I am discovering my gifts.

I am walking in purpose.

I am connecting with people who support me on my journey to wholeness.

God will supply everything I need to move forward and overcome.

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