If you are insecure, you do things that can break your heart.
In 2 Kings 4:8-22, we read the story of an older couple who were prominent in the community (v 8).
Undoubtedly, they were wealthy. The man was a farmer and had a number of servants working for him (v 18, 22).
They were the rich and famous of Israel. The man’s success defined who he was and he had an image to uphold. They had everything except a child.
When the prophet Elijah showed up in the community, the wife cordially invited him to stay at their large home. When Elijah was ready to leave he asked Gehazi — his servant — what type of gift he could give the woman for her generosity.
Gehazi said she was without a child.
Elijah went to the wife and prophesied she would have a child by this time next year which occurred exactly as Elijah predicted (v 17).
Between verses 17 and 18, someone hit the fast forward button. We are not told how much time had passed, but the son was grown, maybe early teens.
While working with his father in the fields, something serious happens. The boy comes to his father crying “My head, my head” and collapses to the ground.
Look at the father’s response — he orders one of his servants to carry the son to his mother and continues to work in the field. He was a too busy to bother himself.
Ultimately, he was so controlled by the fear of failure he couldn’t pull himself away from work to deal with his boy’s life.
He was afraid of failure — afraid he would lose all or some of the original investment. I am sure the father wanted to be with his child but in the end he couldn’t pull himself away.
Today we call them workaholics. Workaholics sacrifice their family over work because of fear of men — their boss or coworkers.
I know I’ve been there. There was a time in my life, where I worked hours in the evening because I was scared what my employer thought of me. I was terrified of not meeting deadlines. I felt guilty being away from my family, but couldn’t control my fears. It was an obsession.
So what’s the solution?
We need to start praying
If you suffer from insecurity — fear of man, fear of failure — you need to pray about it in order to kick-start the healing process.
“I sought the Lord, and answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4 NASV).
I remember when God first spoke to me about my fear of failure and fear of men. I prayed about these fears nearly every day for five or six months.
After a while, I started feeling pretty good about myself. Then it happened — in the space-time continuum my fear of failure and fear of man converged and for a brief three seconds I feared nothing.
You know what I did — I prophesied out loud in church.
Our pastor was ministering in Hong Kong at the time and what I said is not important. But I remember prophesying without the microphone. I figured if nobody heard me and it wasn’t taped, I could deny everything, if needed.
Now folks, if you don’t take these kind of risks — if you don’t deal with your fears — if you don’t step out in FAITH — you won’t have the wonderful opportunity to feel like an absolute idiot for the next two weeks, like I did.
I was depressed. I felt I had blown it. I thought I was a failure. I went through emotional hell. I was even angry at God for taking away my fear of man and fear of failure for that brief moment.
In fact, it was so bad, on the Sunday our pastor returned, I mysteriously found something to do at work and didn’t even go to church.
You see if who we are, is based on what we do — this is what you go through. So what if I was wrong, the worst they could do was stone me.
But God used this incident to continue exposing and dealing with these fears. I found out it was not the end of the world.
More in this series:
- Dealing with insecurity: Are you controlled by what other people think?
- Dealing with insecurity: the chronic second guesser
- Dealing with Insecurity: The desperate need for bigger and better