Do you ever feel trapped? Does the family you grew up in make you feel confined sometimes?

My old father, who is gone now, was raised on a dairy farm, back in the days when that was hard work. I’m sure the milking operation was not automated, and life was not easy for him, as a boy.

My father was never a complainer, and he was always a hard worker. We, in the family, never felt like we were wealthy, but each of us always had a bed to sleep in, and mom always put enough food on the table, and Dad always had a car to drive. Life was simple, back then.

One time, when Dad was getting quite old, he leaned forward with a serious look on his face. I listened carefully. That was the only time Dad ever complained about anything. He spoke calmly and told me what mattered to him.

He said:

“I hate milking cows!”

I laughed and told him I’d never heard him complain about anything before.

Psychologists do have something to say about us, and who we are. Did you know that you are a product of your family and the life you lived, when you were young?

Rich or poor, your circumstances mould the way you think and act now. Apparently, you and I are not free to follow our dreams. It’s most likely that we dream about a future that is an improvement on what we had when we were young. Your dreams, and mine, have a starting point.

People from rich families have one way of thinking and moving through life, and children from poor and struggling families, have a completely different way of thinking. My Dad was shaped by those years of milk buckets and cows in the barn.

For more from a professional psychologist, search online. The article is telling us something important:

We are not free, you were raised in a rut and you can’t get out. Your past is your future:

READ: Socioeconomic Status Leaves Deep Imprints on Developing Brains

If you want a shorter version of this truth, here is one example: 

So, are you a prisoner of your childhood? Is your dream of success just an improvement over what you had when you were young? Was my Dad mostly grateful that he didn’t have to carry a bucket into the barn, and mild those cows again?

There is something we should all know but most of us miss. Two thousand years ago, a poor man from an unimportant small town had a conversation with a rich and powerful man. That poor man had the nerve to advise him.

He said: “You must be born again.” 

Now a certain man, a Pharisee named Nicodemus, who was a member of the Jewish ruling council, came to Jesus at night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. … [and the conversation continued]. (John 3: 1 and 2)  

We know these words mostly from an old and traditional Bible translation: “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (verse 3)

Notice that the rich and powerful and famous man quietly met with Jesus at night. He had a reputation to protect. And the poor man, from a common family and a small town in a remote place had the nerve to say, ‘What you have is not good enough. In fact, your success in life is really failure.  You are a complete failure, unless you are born into a new family.’

Imagine the rich man’s shock.

It is so easy for everyone to miss this. Rich or poor, we have something completely new, or we are each a complete failure. From milking cows, or from any other struggle or celebration: 

And if you want to hear a few words from a song:

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I hope we all learn this lesson about life. We all need a new start.