I had a busy week. I’m different from many people, maybe different than you, but I don’t like having supper in a restaurant. I don’t like all the noise and commotion, when I’m trying to eat.

Part of my busy week was supper in restaurants, twice. Don’t judge me harshly, but I’m glad the week is almost over.

When we were leaving one restaurant meeting, a good friend quietly asked me a question. I think I was the only one who heard when he said “Was our waiter a man or a woman?” I remembered a friendly waiter person who laughed at my jokes, but then, I really couldn’t answer the question. With some people, gender is confusing.

Later I spoke to another friend, and said something like “Do you know what he said? …” I was expecting some outrage, but friend number two said “Yes, I was wondering the same thing.”

I am not accusing my friends of being rude, but they showed me something. Our waiter probably had an orientation to gender and sexuality that was very different from us. On our evening out, that was brought up, right in our faces. I’m glad no one started an ugly argument.

When I was young, I remember that we were not divided so much. Right or wrong, everyone that I knew agreed on the best way to live. People who disagreed usually kept quiet.

Things are very different now.

We are polarized, and that is a challenge. So, what irritates you the most, in public places? Possibly what my friends saw, or religious differences, climate change beliefs, diets like Vegan and Carnivore, and these days POLITICS, and do you remember COVID arguments?

The stress is so severe that psychologists are telling us how to cope:

We have two problems in our polarized society; us and them.

First, how do you treat people who are on the other side of an argument, from you? That has an easy fix. If you are being mean, just don’t. We don’t need more loud arguments. My friends in the restaurant tried to be quiet and polite.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. (Romans 12: 18)

Secondly, if you are a victim of bullying from the other side, there is a lesson to learn, and it’s a very old lesson. If you are interested, someone made an instructional video:

When someone attacks you for what you think, or what you are, make them repeat their angry words. We were told this two thousand years ago, and we keep repeating the advice. Do you remember “Turn the other cheek”?

Do not resist the evildoer. But whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your coat also. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. (Matthew 5: 29 to 41)

Make them say it twice.

Imagine something that will never happen; an argument between you and me. You how children shout “Mom, he started it!” So, I will start it. Now you have the option to shout back, and maybe throw something. And I can say “Gotcha!” You are now just as guilty as me, and we have a two sided fight. It is so easy to blame you, from now on.

Did you grow up in one of those homes?

Our instructions are to make the other person guilty twice, and keep ourselves out of the fight. Make yourself the only victim and the other side the only offender, twice.

If you don’t recognize the source, those instructions are from a man named Jesus and he did not give us some sentimental thoughts. He gave us practical instructions on how to live in a polarized world.

I know people who are almost afraid of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or even Easter. Those are times for extended family visits, and there is a lot to argue about this year. We can create quarrels and divisions that might never heal, even after the election.

It is important to know that Jesus was working to fix our problems, not to condemn us. We probably all know the title “John 3: 16” and possibly we know the words, but do we know John 3: 17?

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world should be saved through him.

On a different topic, it’s good to see what good things God can do in our lives, when he makes us right. In our divided world, this boy is a little nobody, but he can make people cry. I think God gave him that power: