Lose the argument: Oh, you are so wrong, you … !
You are so stupid!
Oh, are you one of them?
Okay, let’s try that again, and this time pay attention!
Oh, are you one of them?
Okay, let’s try that again, and this time pay attention!
Is that how they do it in your [family] [neighborhood] [country]?
You never … ! You always … !
You people are all the same!
You need professional help!

So, how do you feel now after hearing those words? Gas-lighting phrases are common, and they are designed to make you feel small.

“Gas Light” is the name of a play, where one of the characters tries to win an argument by convincing the other that she is mentally ill. He makes it clear that she is obviously unable to see reality, but he can help with that.

If only she would agree with him.

That is a cheater’s way to win an argument and gain power. Ignore the truth, just attack the other person. The purpose is to win, and the ‘truth’ belongs to the winner.

The truth is, a person can sometimes be stupid. I have had my moments. And we have patterns in our behavior that may relate to a family or a culture. Maybe I don’t “always …” but maybe I do ‘often’, for some things.

Welcome to the future.

Western culture is becoming dominated by verbal attacks. Critical thinking is no longer popular. It is important now, to attack the basic foundation of the other personality, to make them unfit, and then walk away with the prize.

In one political debate, on television, two men seemed to come close to a fistfight. Possibly they were just overacting, but we can hear the words repeated “You don’t know squat!”

I win because my insults are better than yours!

This attack-on-the-person argument is so common, so mainstream, that we are being warned and coached on how to deal with it.

For example. Harvard psychologist shares 9 toxic phrases ‘gaslighters’ always use—and how to respond (cnbc.com)

Here’s how to respond: find yourself.

We have some very old words from someone who found themselves, by looking at God:

You formed the way I think and feel. You put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way. I know how amazing that was! You could see my bones grow as my body took shape, hidden in my mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13-15)

This person believed in God and believed that their life came from that source. This person went higher than the personal argument.

There is no mention of a group or of some ideas to believe in, only “You made me.” I can extend that, God remade me.

As I write this, I know that I am not a good person, and I can be criticized. Though, I am not good, I am forgiven, and now the way is open for me to be a better person. If some severe criticism is directed at me, and my basic personality is attacked, I have a simple answer: Maybe, but that was then.

We all need a dose of immunity against the modern culture of personal attacks.

This is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)