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Free Dating Advice, and that MGTOW thing

Photo: John Curley/Flickr/Creative Commons

Photo: John Curley/Flickr/Creative Commons

I learned a new word, new for me, “MGTOW.” It’s pronounced migtow, and it means Men Going Their Own Way.

M.G.T.O.W – Men Going Their Own Way is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word:“No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t.

Note that most MGTOW Internet sites include strong language; swearing, and crude statements about women.

MGTOW is an emerging movement that could change society like feminism before it. We should not underestimate this new force.

Also note, Christians like Paul rejected the corrupt society around them and went another way; and claimed their rights:

“Am I not a free man? Am I not an apostle? Haven’t I seen Jesus our Lord? And aren’t you the result of my work for the Lord? … When people criticize me, this is how I defend myself: Don’t I have the right to be given food and drink for my work? Don’t I have the right to follow the example of the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Peter, by taking a Christian wife with me on my trips? Or are Barnabas and I the only ones who have to work for our living?” (1 Corinthians 9:1 & 3 to 6)

So what can a Christian do with MGTOW?

We have two ways to play the blame game; 1) “She started it.” and 2) “I’m not the problem here.”

1) We all know women who are selfish and toxic to other people. Unfortunately, one truth about people never changes; wreckers wreck, and they don’t repair the damage. I know many bitter, disappointed people who are still waiting for a destructive person to reconstruct the damage. I think we have some agreement here; MGTOW men are wise enough to go their own way, and Christians step away from the corruption around them and step into a better way.

2) When someone else is wrong, it’s easy to believe that we can be severe and respond with anger, because “I’m not the problem here.” Just deflect all criticism by referring back to the first problem. The Communists, and probably the Nazis did this. In the end, their solutions were more terrible than the small problems they tried to solve. MGTOW men can be crude and abusive in their approach to women, because women provoke them. But that only makes the men worse as human beings. I became a committed Christian because I didn’t like the adult I was becoming. I wanted God’s help to change me, because I was the biggest problem in my life. If I can’t cope with abusive women, when I meet them, what is the weakness in me?

And since most of us are wired to have a partner, here is some free dating advice:

1) To find a good person, go to places where good people are: church, job or career, a club, scuba lessons, Habitat for Humanity. You get the picture, and your ideas are better than mine. Bars and online dating sites are businesses that make more money when you fail, like casinos. Will you find someone there, or will they just find your credit card number? Revolving door dating sites are generating a lot of unhappy people.

2) Be the person you want to find. It is all about you, not them. So who is good company for you? Kindness, generosity, and self control are all good human qualities. When you find someone, be sure they get a good deal. If you don’t like the people you attract, do your own inventory.

3) Set a budget, and stay in it. You are already confined to a budget by your wages, so just admit it. If someone takes more than you have to give, do what the fishermen do; catch and release. If you find a partner, and get married, you will be on a budget for life. Start now. And teach the users to stay away.

4) Be simply generous to the other person, don’t pay to get something from them. Here is something that worked for me; I took her shopping and bought her a pair of shoes because all women like shoes. You can laugh at my hokey idea, but what is simple generosity for you?

5) And the best dating advice ever is, get in touch with the higher power. Let God remake you into a new person who can be a good partner. Everyone is broken, men and women, and we hurt ourselves when we use and abuse our closest friends. I want off of that ride, and I wish more people would come with me.

I encourage the MGTOW brothers to write the second half of the story.

But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control. There is no law against such things as these. (Galatians 5:22 and 23)

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