All posts tagged: dealing with emotional pain

Giving yourself 48 hours Credit: mike Lietz/Flickr/Creative Commons

The ’48 hour’ rule

Many times through various seasons of my life, the voices of my loved ones were calling out to me in the wilderness of my emotions as I circled around the same issues and same people over and over again. They were voices of reason reminding me to calm down in the midst of my emotions that were suddenly triggered. But, how does one calm down when every sense in your body is reacting? I have learned the hard way, when unchecked, emotions send us whirling into bad decisions that often create more havoc, confusion and damage in our personal lives. It’s never about the other person. It’s about you and your emotional well-being. Because of this during times of emotional turmoil, I decide to practice the 48 hour rule that I recently read about. The 48 hour rule puts you in a timeout, gives you space to settle down and allows you to re-evaluate the circumstances once your emotions have calmed. During this two-day period, I don’t make any decisions, send reactionary emails or texts, …

Nambia desert Credit: John Adams/Flickr/Creative Commons

Healing our rejection

Español: Sanando el rechazo Using a MRI scan university researchers discovered that emotional pain associated with rejection is as real as physical pain. In 2011, the group led by University of Michigan associate professor Ethan Kross studied 40 people who had recently gone through a romantic break-up within the previous six months. All the participants chosen mentioned having felt intense feelings of rejection due to the ending of the relationship. The 40 people were then put through two tests one related to the emotional pain they felt over the rejection and the other actual physical pain. In the first test, the study subjects viewed an image of their ex and were asked to think about the break up.  In the second stage, thermal devices were attached to their arms that created heat the equivalent of hot coffee. As the 40 people went through these and other comparative tests, the researchers monitored their brain activity using MRIs. The researchers found that feelings of rejection sparked neural activity in the same area of the brain where people …