So, we all know something about online dating, and some of you may know a lot more than me. Did you know that online dating culture is moving into a state of crisis?

Apple Corporation has banned some dating apps because of problems. If you want to know more, there is information about this:

You might find the information a bit dull, but there is a big change coming, in modern culture. Dating apps have been with us for about thirty years, and if they were a good idea, we would know that by now. Instead, many people are reporting frustration, and some are quitting the scene.

Morally, we have people among us who are manipulators, and sometimes they are criminals and fraudsters. The business is apparently corporate and profitable in many cases, but it is not always useful for the lives of the people who participate.

So, is there a lesson for us, in this crisis?

1) The age of 30: Apparently, the online dating economy puts a high value on some people. Young women, under the age of thirty are usually in demand. That is not hard to understand. Young and attractive is what the online corporations need, especially from women as a trade-able commodity.

Apparently, the male mirror of this bias is over thirty and financially stable. Men who fit that profile are the most attractive in the online trading of human singles. They have jobs and money.

It is easy to see how older men and younger women are likely to be coupled.

2) Criminal Fraud: The online dating scene naturally attracts some dishonest people. They have access to a huge pool of potential victims, who may have what they are looking for. What they are looking for might include money, or sexual contact. It’s easy to understand how this could generate fraud and criminal activity. That seems to be the main reason that Apple has taken action against at least one online provider.

There may be other complaints, and the result is people who examine their lives, and their needs, and in many cases, people are dropping out of the online dating scene. I’m not sure what they try, after that, but “No!” is half of the decision. Satisfaction and happiness in life never comes from a delusion.

If you, or anyone you know is caught in this trap, there are some things to know.

First, I am not the right person to give dating advice. Also, most people in the world, at my age are as limited as me. That is not as bad as it sounds because the whole world needs advice about life and how to live it. I believe we easily get trapped in short-cuts and simple solutions. 

I am writing this as a Christian, and I came to this conclusion because I wanted my life to work. Jesus told us, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10: 10).

That kind of thinking attracted me when I was younger. I finally realized that I was looking for a better life and not just a shallow experience. 

Probably, most people who are involved in things like online dating, and become frustrated, are really trying to make their lives work better. The world is full of attractive things that promise to make life “more abundant.”

I have chased after enough of those fake lights, or I have watched my friends try some attractive solutions. My conclusion, when I was younger, is that we are mostly attracted by anticipation, and not by any great success. 

The anticipation of happiness, in some attractive offering like online dating, is almost never followed by success. That makes online dating a profitable business venture. People pay when they anticipate something good, and when they don’t find it, they pay again, and enjoy more anticipation.

After the single life, we also have record high break-ups and divorce rates.

Imagine being satisfied and happy and grounded, with clear boundaries that we do not want to cross because we know the danger. Imagine having all that in ourselves, and then searching for some important thing in life, like a life-mate, or a career, or a satisfying social life. Imagine looking for those things, without any delusions. In the search for a life-mate, imagine bringing our personal stability into the life of another person.

That could work.

I am no expert on online dating, but I know that the real problem is spiritual. We need to know who we are, and we must be able to recognize who and what the other person is, and in my experience, we also need to know God. Our personal failure, and in this case, the failure of a lucrative online industry, illustrates the failure in our spiritual lives.

That man Jesus became frustrated by the deluded people around him, who were so sure of themselves, until they failed:

I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father’s name bear witness about me, but you do not believe because you are not among my sheep. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. (verses 25 to 28)

Imagine never perishing. That is not a common experience, in modern cultures.