All posts tagged: over functioning

Martha and Mary by Georg Friedrich (1639)/Wikipedia/Public Domain

Are you an over-functioner?

My many years of operating as an over-functioner qualifies me to say that “we do not serve ourselves or our families well when we over-function.” So what is over-functioning? Over-functioning takes place when when we do for others what they can and should do for themselves.  When we do this, it stops people from growing up and taking responsibility for their own lives. We keep them in a perpetual state of immaturity. I remember reading a story of a married couple who had kicked their 30-year old son out of the home. He wasn’t working and expected them to look after him. They were not doing him any favors by letting him continue in this lifestyle. He had to grow up. Incredibly, their son even sued to stop his parents from forcing him out of the home. Fortunately for him, he lost. But it is easy for this to happen. We become the biggest obstacle to our children taking responsibility for themselves  and end up stunting their emotional and spiritual growth. We do not allow …

Credit: Visions Photographiques/Flickr/Creative Commons

It’s time to re-calibrate! You don’t have to save the world

Español: Es hora de volver a calibrar! Usted no tiene que salvar el mundo It’s easy to lose ourselves in the spinning and twirling events of our daily lives. Often, we burn out when we give all our time and energy for a worthy cause or in meeting the needs of those around us. I am learning that I am not indispensable and that the world can do very well without me for a while. The harsh reality is that we often become “indispensable” in our own eyes. We get lost in the illusion that the world can’t make it without us. We must step away and take a good look at who we have become. My ego loves the attention and the “need to be needed.” I call it my “save the world mentality.” My husband can attest to the many times I have asked him to remind me that “I don’t have to save the world.” Because that mentality has ruined my health, run me into the ground, hurt my most valued relationships …