I have learned over the years that forgiveness isn’t about the one who hurt you.
Forgiving others for what they did, is all about you!
It is one of the healthiest choices, you can make for yourself and your well-being. We need to have the mindset that when it comes to forgiving others, you are doing it for you and no one else.
Joyce Meyers describes forgiveness as a gift that you give yourself. She writes, “Forgiveness is about you, even if the other person doesn’t forgive you. Forgiveness begins 100% with you. It’s a gift you give yourself.”
Often, we confuse forgiveness with making amends with the person who hurt us. Joyce reiterates that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person at all! Whether they apologize or don’t, you need to forgive first.
At times, we may try to downplay what the other person did to deal with the hurt, but that is not the solution.
You need to forgive, because it transforms you from a victim into the victor.
I found an interesting quote about forgiveness on Wikipedia, that suggests an unwillingness to forgive, perpetuates our feelings of being a victim:
“The intentional and voluntary process by one, who may initially feel victimized, undergoes a change in feelings and attitude towards a given offence.”
Feeling victimized our whole lives leaves us powerless to change. Playing the victim distracts us from our true path and keeps us trapped in the past.
Forgiveness is about breaking free from playing the victim because of what happened to you. Forgiveness over time will release you from guilt, shame, anger and the desire for revenge.
It’s up to you!
Either we continue to allow the circumstances of the past to control us, now and forever, or we can give ourselves the gift of forgiveness and set ourselves free from the past
It takes time and practice to learn how to forgive others. Are you willing to put in the work to practice Christ’s words and be set free from the control of our emotional prison?
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV)