Warning: This topic will offend some people. “Morals” here means sexual behavior. There was a time when people were offended when the conversation was too explicit, too “dirty.” Now people get offended for the opposite reason. I believe that sexual behavior should be controlled, and promiscuity with no limits is very wrong. The fire should stay in the fireplace.
Some people will be offended.
A few days ago I drove on a freeway in a bad snow storm. At one place I saw a car on the side of the road, facing the wrong way, in deep snow. As I passed, I saw that the driver was an attractive young woman, and she was crying. If you are wondering, I couldn’t stop without causing another accident, and help was on the way. As I drove by, I knew there were two ways for a man to think. Someone could stop, and try to take advantage, when the woman was vulnerable; or we could see a daughter, niece, sister, neighbor who needed help. Any man reading this knows what I am saying.
The choice, in our thoughts, was clear: take, or give.
I have noticed a big change in the way we live. People like to talk about their private lives in online discussions, and private lives have changed for the younger generation. The Internet shows one thing clearly; the locker room talk, when I was younger, is now a life style. The things we whispered about are now lived out. We all know the “me too” news stories about rich and powerful men who molested and abused young people. Money and power gave them the license.
- RELATED: List: All of the Hollywood power players accused of sexual assault or harassment: USA Today
That’s a big change.
Also, I am a man, and the father of young men, so I have decided to focus there. Anyone else can write about morals for women, or for everyone. Let’s do this one chapter at a time.
Here’s a story I like to tell anyone who will listen. Now it’s your turn:
A few months ago, I was staying with one of my sons, while I worked in their city. He has a wife and two little girls. One evening, I said “I’m going for a walk.” I didn’t think anyone heard me, I was just being polite. As I sat on the steps to tie my shoes, my three-year-old granddaughter sat beside me and put her shoes on. She got them on the wrong feet, but she was successful with the Velcro straps. I told her “It’s almost your bed time and you can’t come outside.” She answered “NO!” with emphasis.
Of course, I wondered why a baby girl was angry with me, so I asked her to explain. She was very clear; “My grandpa is going for a walk, and I don’t want him to be lonely.” Feel free to say “aww” here. Of course, she went for a walk with me, before bed time. I might have written about this before, but I like it. The memory makes me happy.
And there is a lesson about men and morals in this story. There is a huge difference between taking things for myself, feeding myself, and giving what I have for others. Sexual promiscuity, without restrictions, is on the receiving side. Living with moral standards is on the giving side. That baby girl was kind to me, but she also wanted my company. She wanted me to give.
We are all walking and talking bundles of resources, and we are put on this planet for a reason. We have so much to give. And there is more; I have learned that God wants to correct me and to put His spirit on me. God gives me more, to give. Following Jesus is not a selfish exercise.
There are some lessons in the Bible that I have never understood, and one of them is about ‘fountains’ and ‘streets.’ My little granddaughter helped me with this: “Should your springs flow outside, or streams of water in the street? They should be for you alone and not for strangers who are with you. Let your fountain be blessed” (Proverbs 5: 16 to 18). The topic for these words is moral behavior in men, and I never really got the picture.
Now I know. My granddaughter taught me that I exist to give out, more than to take in. I have one life, to live or to waste. It must be terrible, for a man, to come to the end of a selfish life that was focused on using and abusing.