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 Why won't God answer my prayer? Many Christians struggle with the notion God won't answer their prayers. In this article Dean Smith discusses characteristics Christians need to develop in order to have a successful prayer life.
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Why doesn't God answer my prayer? This question plagues many Christians. We pray and not only are there no answers, but we wonder if God even heard us.
When we look at the Gospels, we read a number of parables Jesus used to teach on prayer. I want to specifically look at two of them and draw out principles that produce successful prayer.
The first account is found in Luke 11:5-13. This parable-- following on the heels of Jesus' teaching on the Lord's prayer --is about a man who unexpectedly had visitors show up at his home late at night. Without food to properly provide for them, the man pops next door to a friend's place to borrow some bread.
It was late at night and his neighbour was not interested in waking his household to meet this man's needs.
The second parable -- found in Luke 18:2-8 -- involves a widow who was taken advantage of by an unscrupulous person and went before a judge seeking legal help.
We are told the judge did not fear God and did not respect man (v 2). It was a simple way of saying he was corrupt. Justice was for sale in this town.
The widow apparently didn't have the means to buy the justice she needed, so the judge put her off. She went to him a number of times, but each time the judge refused to deal with her situation.
In both instances, the friend and the judge eventually relented and provided the petitioners their requests. Jesus said these two accounts illustrate the keys to a successful prayer life.
1. Intercessors must prevail in prayer
The key to success in both these stories involved praying till you prevail.
In the first story, the man was asking for bread and would not leave until he received what he needed. In fact, Jesus makes this stunning -- and some may suggest controversial -- statement. He says, "I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him bread because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs" (v 8).
What is so shocking about this verse is Jesus says persistence is more important to achieving answered prayer than even a relationship with God.
This in no way implies that cultivating a relationship with God is not important. But when it comes to prayer, persistent is the key.
Jesus reinforces this in verse 9 saying "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you." In the margins of my NASV, the tenses of these verbs are fully explained "keep asking", "keep seeking," and "keep knocking."
Persist! Persist! Persist!
Clearly, Jesus is driving the importance of unrelenting persistence in prayer. The man refused to leave and kept knocking and calling until the neighbour was forced to give him the bread -- if for no other reason than to get rid of him. Who knows how long the man stood outside the door, but intercessors needs to be tenacious -- staying on their knees until the prayer is answered.
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The widow's battle
In the second account, a different scenario unfolds. There is no hint of any kind of relationship between the judge and the widow. In fact, the judge is pictured as part of the problem. By removing any hint of friendship, Jesus is clearly triumphing persistence over relationship.
However, in this account persistence takes a slightly different form. The widow did not hang out at the judge's door until she got her answer -- as the man did with his neighbour.
She had to come back again and again seeking help. The phrase "for a while" (v 4) that Jesus used to describe the length of her struggle implies a considerable period of time -- days for certain, probably weeks.
Understanding this from a prayer perspective, the widow repeatedly got down on her knees, day after day, calling out for help. For the intercessor, the battle may extend over a number of weeks, requiring repeated days of intercession on the same issue.
In both instance, the key to success was prevailing and unrelenting prayer until they received the answer they wanted.
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Intercessors must pray until burden released
In my previous article, Are you an intercessor?, I explained that the primary goal of an intercessor is to make contact with God -- literally enter His throne room. Once this contact is made, the intercessor knows their prayer is being heard. This sets the stage for a flow of communication between the heavenly realm and the prayer warrior. After a persistent time of prayer, the Holy Spirit will often communicate with the intercessor when their prayer has been answered. Once this happens further prayer is unnecessary.
The key is to pray until God releases you from the burden.
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Praying two and a half weeks for a slurpee?
My wife Barb -- who I consider a genuine intercessor -- was talking to a woman who told of struggles with her oldest son. He was having problems at school and teachers were constantly asking her to come in to deal with behavioral issues.
As they discussed what was happening, the woman shared that the boy was her only child from a previous marriage. Divorced she had remarried and now she and her new husband had children of their own.
However, the step father was finding it difficult accepting the oldest son. He found it hard to praise him and easy to criticize.
My wife heard the story, saw the need and decided to pray about it.
For the next two and half weeks, this became the focus of her prayers. Barb prayed about other things as well, but this situation was bumped to the front of the list.
When the boy and the step father came to her mind, she would kneel at the chesterfield and pray for the situation. She prayed at least once a day and sometimes two to three times. She persisted in prayer until she felt the Holy Spirit release her from the burden.
When Barb prays, she knows God hears her prayers and she expects the Lord to answer. Some people look upon this as pride, but God does not want us praying any other way. If you do not pray expecting an answer, why bother.
Two months later, my wife had a chance to talk to the woman again. Barb said she was expecting to hear a good report and that's exactly what she heard.
The woman told her about the remarkable changes going on with her oldest son.
She had received a call from the teacher a few days earlier. When the call came in she immediately thought there was a problem. But instead the teacher told her of the remarkable transformation that had taken place. Her oldest son was a completely different child. He was working hard and it had reached the point, the teacher no longer worried about him and was free to work with other children.
Barb shared she had been praying for the boy and his step dad. When the woman heard this, she told the story of a significant incident that happened in the relationship between the two.
She said a while back they were forced to take two vehicles to a particular event. The dad asked who wanted to go with him. Initially, no one volunteered.
Finally, the oldest boy who was experiencing the rejection said, "Dad, I will go with you." The youngest boy then piped up he would go as well.
When they reached their destination -- she arrived first -- the wife saw her youngest son saunter in with a slurpee.
She was sickened by the sight. Her first thought was 'not again.' Her husband had bought his birth son a slurpee, but had not bought one for the oldest -- as he had done so often in the past.
Her heart broke as she saw her oldest son -- with a huge smile on his face -- walk in with a slurpee.
Unknown to my wife, she had spent two and a half weeks praying for the step dad to buy his son a slurpy. But God knows what the real issues are and this incident broke the spirit of rejection that enveloped the boy.
Sometimes the answers to prayer can appear to be the simplest thing, but are front for huge emotional issues and hurts. This is not to suggest that this situation is fully resolved, but nevertheless it marked a major turning point for the son and his step dad.
2. God needs intercessors who refuse to take NO for an answer.
God wants intercessors unwilling to take NO for an answer. Intercessors need a strong stubborn streak, not in life, but in prayer. This characteristic shows up clearly in both accounts.
In the story of the man asking for bread, the neighbour refused to get up complaining it was late, the children were asleep and he said NO, "I cannot get up and give you anything" (v 7b).
When his neighbour said no, a buzzer went off in the man's spirit screaming "wrong answer."
Because the man refused to take No, Jesus said, the man "will get up and give him as much as he needs" (v 8b).
In the second story, the judge said "no" a number of times, but the widow "kept coming to him" for legal protection. After hearing "no" so many times, most of us -- including myself -- would quit, thinking it was hopeless.
But "no" was not part of the widow's vocabulary. This refusal to take "no" for an answer is a vital to successful intercession. God wants a tenacity birthed in your heart about prayer.
There are a number of reasons for this, but I believe primarily it involves spiritual warfare. The demonic can hinder prayer and it is not uncommon for intercessors to misinterpret satanic resistance as a sign God is saying no.
They stop praying and all the momentum gathered through their prayers is instantly lost and they have effectively answered the prayer themselves.
However, we need to address a further issue. There are situations when God says "No," but amazingly enough He is quite willing to change His mind provided people will intercede. In fact, may I go one step further and suggest God wants intercessors to change His mind.
In 2 Kings 20:1ff, we read the story of Hezekiah, the king of Judah who for the most part was considered a Godly king.
At one point, Hezekiah was afflicted with a large boil. It was serious infection and the prophet Isaiah shows up with a word from God, "Thus says the Lord, 'Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live'" (v 1)
Now when Isaiah -- one of the most infamous prophets in Israel -- shows up with a word from God, everyone knew God's will for a particular situation. Or did they?
As soon as Hezekiah heard this word, he turned to God in prayer -- asking God to change His mind. The prayer was interesting "Remember now, O Lord, I beseech You, how I have walked before you in truth and with a whole heart and have done what is good in your sight."
The Bible says, Hezekiah wept bitterly (v 3) and the word implies anger. Hezekiah told God exactly what he thought about his situation. He was angry and upset and thought he was being treated unfairly.
The one things that strikes me about Hezekiah's prayers is his absolute honesty. Now God knew exactly how Hezekiah felt, but when the king expressed it in prayer, God changed his mind and sent Isaiah the message before he even left the city.
God told Isaiah to go back to the king with this message, "I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears, behold I will heal you." (v 5)
Hezekiah was so shaken by the dramatic turn of events, he wasn't sure he was hearing right. He asked God for a sign he would be healed. God told him, the sun would go back 10 steps contrary to the movement of the sun.
Hezekiah needed to know. Since he did not have a son who would naturally succeed him as king, he needed to make preparations to ensure an orderly transfer in power to the man of his choosing. Now it's true the extension of Hezekiah's life allowed him to finally have a son -- Manasseh, who would certainly rank as one of Judah's most evil kings.
However, the choice to change God's mind, rests with God alone.
God wants to birth in your spirit stubbornness and tenacity in prayer. Though in the end God may ultimately say "No," He nevertheless wants intercessors who refuse to take "No" for an answer.
A few years back, my wife and I attended a camp meeting in the U.S. God was moving in the services through the Toronto revival and both of us were impacted by this deep moving of God's Spirit.
One night, I felt the Lord tell me He wanted me to stay in the tabernacle and pray for three hours after the service. The meetings were going late, so it would be about three in the morning before I my head hit the pillow.
My preference was to go to bed. But it seemed like God so I decided to do it. Now to be honest, I was very legalistic about the time and I looked at my watch every 15 minutes or so to see how much time had past.
I was a true watchman. God was going to get three hours and not a minute more.
I had been praying for about an hour, when I sensed God telling me He wanted me to extend my prayer time to five hours.
When that happened, I began to wonder if I had imagined the whole things. Was God really speaking to me?
I not only questioned the five hours, but now even the three.
It was about 2 am -- while I was in the throes of this struggle -- a man walked into the tabernacle and sat down in a pew.
I watched him for a few minutes and then God said "Go pray for him." It came in the form of a simple impression that popped into my spirit. Being the spiritual giant that I am, I have to admit this whole process of God speaking to me was starting to annoy me.
I finally went over and started up a conversation. The man was at the camp with his wife and family and was so totally frustrated by the experience he wanted to pack up his car the next day and head home. Unable to sleep, he wandered into the tabernacle looking for answers.
I asked him, if I could pray for him and he said yes. As I prayed God revealed -- through a word of knowledge -- a number of strongholds that bound him. For the next hour and a half, we prayed and God moved.
These words became so specific, I prefaced many of them with phrases such as, "If I am out to lunch with what I am saying, forgive me." A number involved sexual struggles. I remember one in particular, where I felt he had been involved in sexual activity as a young boy and memories of this incident still plagued and enticed him.
He told me that nothing like that ever happened to him. So I said fine and didn't pray about it.
A few minutes later, he whispered, "Well, if you think you should pray about it, then maybe you should." As I prayed, God broke through. The tears revealed struggles words couldn't confess.
After he left, I returned to finish off my five hour prayer time. As the sun was peeking up, God spoke to me that the reason my three hour prayer time had changed to five was because God answered the prayers of the man's wife who was calling out to God for her husband.
Because of her prayers, there needed to be a two hour interruption in my prayer schedule. When people pray, things and schedules will change. Even Isaiah had to walk back to the throne room. I'm sure there were moments he wondered if he was hearing from God.
3. God wants intercessors who will annoy and harass Him
When we study the account of the widow and the Judge, we read a telling statement of why the judge caved in.
"Yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out." (Lk 18:5)
The woman was so persistent the judge finally relented believing it was easier to give this woman justice just to get her off his back.
The word "bother" is a compound word that literally means "bringing pain." In this sense, the woman was undoubtedly reminding the judge of his legal obligations. He may have been corrupt but the words of the woman were getting under his skin. His job was to protect the innocent and clearly this widow was demanding the judge simply do his job.
The second word hupopiazo translated "wears me out' denotes the wounds and bruises boxers receive when they fight. In its marginal notes, the NASV reads "lit. hit me under the eye."
In its truest sense, the word means to strike with a fist and refers to anyone being treated harshly.
The woman was obviously in the judge's face demanding justice. I'm not sure what all was said, but obviously she had some things to say about the kind of justice he was dispensing in town.
In the following verse, Jesus clearly separates our Heavenly Father from the character of the Judge saying "Now will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will he delay long over them." (v 7)
The word "cry" shows us what part of this account God wants His intercessors to mimic.
The word "boao" used here is word full of emotion -- anger and frustration. It means to cry out and to raise a complaint. In the context of prayer, the word speaks of God's elect calling out to the Lord for deliverance and help.
To understand the full meaning of the word we need to see how it is used in other versus.
The word is used in Acts 17:6, when the Jews of Thessalonica -- angered by Paul and Silas who were preaching the Gospel in that city -- took to the streets in protest. The mob charged through the streets "shouting" (boao) that Paul and Silas who had upset the world were now in their city and they were mad. The Bible says their "boao" stirred the city.
In the Septuagint -- the Greek version of the Hebrew Old Testament -- the word "boao" is used in a number of passages.
- After Cain murdered Abel, God said Abel's innocent blood cried out (boao)" to Him for vengeance (Gen 4:10).
- When the Pharaoh turned on the Jews in Egypt, the people called out (boao) to God (Ex 2:23).
- In Ex 22:21, strangers and the fatherless "cry out" (boao) to God for help.
Clearly in these accounts we are not talking of soft prayers uttered briefly around the dinner table.
We are talking about intense, warfare prayers.
In 2 Tim 2:6, Paul exhorted Timothy to "stir up" or "kindle afresh" the gift God put in him through the laying on of the hands of the presbytery. This is a curious verse, because though the gift was spiritual in nature, Paul said Timothy was responsible for activating it through his own will.
Similarly, I believe we can choose to stir up our emotions in prayer. I am in no way suggesting, he who prays the loudest wins, but I believe we can choose to increase the intensity of our prayers by an act of our will.
Concentration and intensity are important ingredients in prayer. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was involved in intense prayer to the point his sweat looked like drops of blood. Intensity is an important ingredient in prayer. This is boao in its purest form.
Hebrews 5:7 says of Jesus, "Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;"
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